My nighttime dreams often take me to crisp, breezy places where the air and sand race across my face and whips my hair wildly....yes I love being near the ocean...Occasionally, I daydream about standing on a promontory courageously daring the strong ocean winds to carry me away. There is another presence there...she stands just slightly behind me, her hand resting gently in the small of my back...she leans close...I feel her breath on my neck...it touches me without touching me...secret words fight against the wind to reach my ear...they sink into my soul and live there till morning and beyond.
(Iva, I’d be honored if you finished this story.)
She’s gone, snatched from me by coastal winds. I find myself perched instead in an adirondak, coffee mug in hand. Day is breaking and the presence merely a recurring dream. A vision I’ve conjured from my loins, my belly, my very soul. She began as a thought. A result of my solitude on this shore, albeit it a chosen solitude. Someone with whom to share my fortress. My companion, my muse, my endless ocean breeze. Alas, I have sought to escape to solitude and found loneliness. My peaceful existence interrupted by the longing for that which I have created. My sleeping and my waking hours consumed by her presence.
Refilling my mug, the steam rises from it. Flaring my nostrils, I breathe in the steamy aroma of my vision. Her scent is rich and intoxicating, earthy and nutty with the saltiness of the sea air and the green and tingling essence of fallen coconuts on the beach beyond my open patio door. I return to my chair to absorb more of the ocean breeze and find gulls, hovering and diving for small fish along the rock-ridden shallows of the beach below. Standing, I find them not diving for fish, but for whatever is being tossed in the air to them by a lone figure paused at the end of a path of footprints at the surf’s edge.
A woman. She lets fly bits of food for the birds into the wind. Her garments whipped about her, grasping at her ample curves. The other hand holding onto a floppy hat in a desperate attempt to retain it. I found myself wanting to be that wind, wrapping myself about her curves. I squeezed my eyes shut to cast out the sight of her. To force her to discontinue haunting my consciousness. Go away, sweet vision. Cease and desist your torment of me. Flee to that from whence you came. I swallow, expecting it will douse the flame I’ve lit within myself and I open my eyes to find that she is still there, and walking toward the steps that lead to my fortress.
I begin to vibrate. Rattling the boards of the decking loose with my bare feet. Surely, I have gone mad. Unable to accept the thought of madness, I shake my head and inhale deeply, hoping to pull my mental faculties back to center. She approaches still. Long, deep, swaying strides. She navigates the sandy knoll between the stairs and my deck. Looking up she smiles, waving.
I have accepted my vision as just that. A vision. One that exists only within my dreams. Inside my own head. How can it be that that which I have fashioned from my own desires is now in front of me? I can hear the surf and the wind. I can hear the gulls calling. I can hear the blades of grass at the edge of the palms whisper. Again, I close my eyes hoping to cast out this woman who’s haunted me far to long. When I open them, the vision is several strides closer to the grasses near my decking. She drops what appears to be sandals into the ground and I hear them land. Yes. Madness has consumed me. I have begun to hear my vision. It’s far too real. The long, dark tresses with chestnut hues from time spent in the sun. The slightly freckled bridge of her nose and the crooked smile from full and sensuous lips. It’s all right here and if I reach out, I can touch it. WAKE UP MAN!
The wind shifts as she slips her feet into her sandals and continues her journey toward me. I can hear her long skirt swishing through the grasses and the soft flipping and flopping of each shoe as she approaches. I’m awake. It’s real. The trembling in my knees return and I must steady myself against the wall behind me.
