elsie is reflecting back at her life in a small island village and the seemingly peculiar method of relating.
--excerpt--
elsie walked along the shore still weeping. it had beem weeks since it happened but to her it was like it was yesterday. she remembered how rough and grouse his voice was ut then she would hear something that remindered her of the last words he uttered and the underlining things he tried to convey, the sound almost child like in it manner as oppose to the age and experience of his character. now that was something she couldn't jo;d bacl.
cal paced the floor as he looked at the little rugrats before him. there were four of them but as far as he was coucerned it could be twenty. they were either half left or right meaning they didn't know what coordination was if it hit them over the head or they were half heads mean the common sense stick missed them also. “and they wonder why men are forced to have more than one brood.” he would often quote. it was a well known fact that carl as well as a few other men in the township had other woman and kids but not usually and openly a few feet from their original ones. that didn't matter to carl. his reasoning was that at some point he would have a brood worth having and leave the others to drift with the seaweed. as it stood now, fifteen woman and forty kids and still pulling blanks.
elsie was five years old when she first fashioned her first lobster trap out of dead trwigs around the beach. carl just stared at the child in a gruff way. “the only think that might catch is a sand spider on it's bad day he finally said after repeatedly teling the child to go away and keep her toy away from hsi real traps. “but papa, i want you to get the big one with mine.” “child, the big one is only gonna roll over laughing when he see it now go on before i use you as live bait.” “but i want to help.” “you cain't help.” “why?” “cause you can't.” “i'm big like tommy junior. why can't i go>” “cause i said you can't” “but papap, i'm not left or right or half head.” “i'm not your papap, now get.” carl always spouted that part if he didn't want to be bothered and that part was what cut the most. out of all his kids so far, she was the only one that he could call his own by his standards but he refused to. or was he just toughening her up for what may come ahead.
“harbor neigh!” harbor neigh!” some one shouted from the beach. it was a calling signal for all people to show up on the beach for a sort of head count. most of the time it would be called just for fun and a way to socialize in the morning before the day's work was staarted. other times it's called becasue some one is actually missing. it depended on how the tone was. this morning, it was a mix signal, not real urgent but not light and airy either. it was probably a couple of eens had wondered off again and just forgot about coming home. as everyone gathered on the beach, the took care to avoid a lot of the debris that had washed up from the night befroe. there had been a mid storm, mostly wind and it had caused a few of the shanti shacks to collaspe but nothing real serious. pieces of a couple of boats were also found but the fishermen had more than enough as they constantly make new ones ever couple of weeks so that didn't matter. elsie looked around and noticed that a few of the men were not there. she thought she had heard some of them earlier uyesterday saying that they wanted to get an early start ahead of the storm tomorrow to get theri catch in. elsie looked out toe the still chopy waves. most of the time you could see the faint inages of the boats in the horizon as they did theri work but not today. there was nothing. and the water, although stilll very choppy was still clean, too clean for after a storm. usually it would be muddy if not dark with things.
elsie mad her way thru the crowd, taking a mental head count herself as each of the household sounded off and stating whether everyone was present or not. she knew that most of her family was there except for her father. some of the others said they were all there when clearly they weren't. were they just saying that because someone didn't want to get up or were they just hiding something. elsie heard her family name called with no response. she stopped to hear if her father would say something but there was silence. it was called again and still nothing. elsie hesitated to say something. her father always said that he was the one to answer and no one else regardless if he didn't want to get up or was later or what every. no one else was to answer. elsie hesitated as she heard it called for a third time. if there was no response, they would be marked down and be added to the search if theri was one. finally, at the begining of the fourtha nd last call, elsie rang out “ here.” but was quickly dropped to her knees with a thud across the head from her father. as she started to explain, he scowled at her then walked away. one of these days, she vowed, she was going to return the favor.
elsie ran up behind her father as everyone started their daily routine. “o dodn't kow where you wre.” she blurted out as still rubbed her head brom being hit. he didn't respond to her. “i thought,” she started again ducking as he swung around ready to clock her again. “well, i remember you saying something about going out early thins morning.” “and i stand here don't i?” he muttered. elsie nodded. “i knew you didn't when i saw the waaves and how the water was but i wasn't sure and since mother is no longer able ...” her father moved closer to her grabbing her shirt. “you are to be in your place.” then jerked her loose. now almost afraid to talk sputted out as he continued his walk, “but you said that i'm the madehead?” elsie knew she was in trouble as soon as that came out and ran up the beach as her father turned around. he told her that she was the madehead when he wasn't around meaning she was in charge of the othe half heads i the family but when he is around, she was just another one of them and she had better not forget it. as he watched her scurry up the beach, he smiled. there was hope for her still but she still had a long ways to go.
chapter two
ema stood in the doorway of her shanti, peering out at the others who were busy with their day. she was considered one of the guardians of the township only cause she had lived so long. “and seen so much. even more than the wind” she would add to all the questions she was asked. “how come the men are the way they are, grams?” elsie asked one day just after her thirteenth birthday. wit that elsie found herslf on the floor. “you don't disrespect me or any one of the men folk like that again, you hear me girl? that was just short of calling for a willowping.” a willowping is when you are ties between two trees and besides being beaten you would be left there for a number of days determined bu the counsel exposed to anything and everything. many would die from it but if you managed to survive, you were definitely changed. “o dodm't mean no disrespect from it. o was jsut wondering,” she said pausing for a moment to choose her words carefully. “if maye they would have a better time of things if they weren't so rough with others.” the old woman stared a tthe child, trying to read all the meanings behind what she was saying. “the only reason theyare rough as you put it is because thy have to be. look where we are child. yes things an be ently but you know they camn e down right miserable also and that you have to expect. they reflect that and so do you. if you didn't you wouldn't be here right now.” “i know but it jus seems ...” “it's nothing. they are the way they are and we raise them that way for a reason. now get before i call for it right now.”
once outside, elsie went to her usual hiding spot just inside the large willow cove and started to weep. she really wanted to talk with someone about how she was beinf treated but no one would listen. no one had any problems was the general attitude everyone had or if youfelt that badly, you would just walk into the sea and it would take care of it. jusr a few days ago, her best friend ella and sagehad did just that . no one knew where they was for days as the tides and another storm had just washed everything out for a time before dumping them back on the beach. rumor had rose as to why they had did it and now elsie was thinking along those same lines too. (1644)
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