I remember, the day you were born. Grandma and Grandpa were over for dinner and Mom’s water broke. There was a scramble for towels. I knew it was okay, I don’t remember feeling panicked, but could feel the embarrassment Mom had over Grandma and Grandpa being there, like she did something wrong. I can remember watching them leave and feeling glad that Mom could just relax and have this baby. It was cold out, nippy, towards dark time and we lived on Carson, the McQuiens house. I remember looking at the hill and thinking today our family changes, and how beautiful it was outside. I don’t have a recollection of the hospital, I must have not gone, but I do remember the sick feeling when I heard there was something wrong with our new baby girl. It had been a breech delivery, you were all sideways or backwards or something, and Dr. Clark had to pull you out by your arm, and that it might never work right. Might never work right…..ahh but you were beautiful, lots of dark hair, skinny little runt of a thing, I loved you the minute I saw you. Our Little Julie. No you didn’t move that arm, but that didn’t stop Mom from moving it for you, all the time. That little arm got more moving done, even though you didn’t at first move it yourself, it just sort of laid there, you wiggled and kicked and wailed, except for that little arm, but Mom would just make a game, Row Row Row Your Boat is the one I remember the most, working that arm, no one could tell Mom she couldn’t make it all better And she did. Life settled into life, and you grew. I remember your hair most, and your belly. Your hair was a lot like Cee-Cee’s , thin and long, and ohh soo pretty, Mom mostly kept it in two high ponies, just like the day she took you over to Sequoia Union to take a picture on picture day. I was so proud that you were my sister, cause you were soo damn cute, little fat belly and all, and you had to have that doll in the picture with you. I have a snapshot memory of you being lifted up on that little stool, doll in hand, laughing holding the doll up, so that her face could be in the picture too. Most of the rest of the time, you were work for me. Josie find Julie’s shoes or sweater, or whatever. Or watch you sister and then it got to be brush her hair. I was probably mean to you, I have that natural mean streak, you know yanking your hair and whatnot, but always you were cute, and kind of like our miracle baby, cause you just used that arm like nobody’s business. Lot’s of fuzzy years, I was hitting young womanhood. I have bits and pieces flashing in my head, you on a tricycle, up on the hill with me hovering about worried you might go down the hill, you learning to read, and write. I don’t have a recollection of you being a crybaby or a brat or any of that such nonsense, but time must have helped you there. Those were the days that we were buddies with the Gordens. We used to do dinner at their house and I would worry about you and that pool. Seems like I worried a lot about Our Little Julie, still do I guess. I remember you playing with Fisher Price the most. You loved the garage. Would sit and play for hours, which was very cool for me cause I was generally in charge. But you as a toddler amazed me, with your imagination, putting gas in the little cars, up and down the elevator, I’d watch you and think wow this little person, my sister, has such a capacity for joy in life. See even then I knew the kind of person you would become and are to this day I see it, you are intelligent, beautiful, quick witted and always my little sister. Little Julie. I hope that by putting some of these memories down on paper, you can see just what you mean to me. Memories, there are so many more, remember the camera I bought you for Christmas? The time Mindy and I gave you wine coolers and told you it was soda? Oh we truly are a family. Lots of ups and downs. But I depend on you so much now. I’m so happy you are there for Mom, so happy that you guys are buddies. I hope that you are happy with your life. I know it can be tough at times, it is for all of us, but I hope that you have more ups than downs day to day. And mostly I hope that you know just how much you are loved, that from the minute you came into my life, I felt you as part of me, and will always. If I could tell you a couple of things I’ve learned about life, you can count on it to just keep coming. Sometimes we get a little kick in that pants, to wake up and appreciate what we have, and mostly we don’t appreciate the way the kicking happens, but it does, and it only hurts for a bit, but if we learned the lesson on paying attention to who and what we have in life, I’m hoping we don’t get kicked around too much more than necessary. Goes around comes around, is a true law of nature, I know that for a fact. But mostly just try and have fun. Work is just what we have to do, fun is what we get to. Laugh a lot, enjoy your babies, they are a kick, and the best of all blessings. And do what you love, never let your creative side dry up, you are an artist, with more talent than you sometimes know yourself. Believe that as true , and watch out. Mostly know I love you, always have, always will. I remember the day you were born……
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Reviewed by jesse james
1/7/2004
DEEP SHIT CUZ.. AMAZING AND INTERESTING STUFF!!!!!!
Josefina,
I cannot share the level nor impact this powerful write had upon my heart accept to confess this, I wept! And wished That I had been so lucky as Julie, to have you as she did and does. This was good childlike, this was very good sigh....For what its worth, this impressed me a great deal, a great deal indeed! Thank you for sharing such a grand heart undressed...
Sincerely,
Rodney Evan Bohen
i also need to write something like this to my sisters. i think it is so necessary, our lives and families are so far apart in these trying and lonely days. poignant, and full of passion and love. thank you for sharing this gem.
what a wonderful story. your mom sounds like a wnderfully dedicated woman. thank you for sharing such a beautiful story
Reviewed by Kate Clifford
6/16/2002
Your sister is lucky to have a big sister that loves her so much. I am sure she does know how loved she is! I enjoyed this letter you wrote.
Two things I want to comment on:
1. In this sentence, "Goes around comes around, is a true law of nature," I think you wanted to say........What goes around...
2. I think if you paragraphed this letter it would help it to be even better.
Reviewed by Shae
6/3/2002
Be certain to keep a hard copy of this for your sister....beautifully written.
Reviewed by Kristina Rosso
5/17/2002
This is a beautiful letter/story to your sister. I had a baby brother when I turned 18 and it's gret because I get to watch him grow up from a stand back point of view. I wish my sister and I were closer in age so that I could write something like this for her.
great job,
xoxo
krisie
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