"Wake Up Calls"
By Donna Webster
I was diagnosed with my first chronic illness Interstitial Cystitis 10 years ago and two years later I was diagnosed with the second one Fibromyalgia. Learning to live with both of these has not been an easy road, but it was one that I was forced to accept whether I wanted to or not.
I did learn some very important lessons and after the second illness I discovered that I wanted to be a writer. I was blessed to have received the gift of writing and started writing inspirational poems that I sent out to thousands of people over the years.
A few years later I started writing inspirational short stories and was supposed to have my first story published in an anthology book and I was so excited. Sadly the publisher didn’t promote the book and it never made it to stores, and I was heartbroken. You see in the back of my mind I knew I wanted to eventually write my own book but I wanted to build up a resume of published stores and work my way up from there.
Although I was discouraged I decided to ask my angels for a sign to let me know if I should go ahead and write that book. I asked them to make it a good one and something I would recognize because knowing me, I would miss it. A few weeks later I went to the gas station and the moment I walked in the door the attendant looked at me and said "You’re An Angel."
I was shocked and turned around to see if maybe someone was behind me, but low and behold I was the only one in the store and she was speaking to me. I was so amazed because this was my first experience of asking the angels for a sign and it actually worked. I knew it was my sign and that it meant I was supposed to write my own book.
In the weeks following I started working on my book but I never made it past the first few pages. I let my fears stop me from writing and couldn’t get past it. I wanted to write and inspire others and spent the next few years running around in circles finding other ways to help others by volunteering. But something just wasn’t right. I didn’t feel the same passion volunteering as I did when I was writing.
Then at the end of last year my world was tuned upside down and I was evicted from my apartment because they were going to be turned into condos. And to make matters worse my credit wasn’t perfect and I was having trouble finding a place to live.
It was a few weeks before my 40th birthday and I was in a deep depression. I couldn’t find a place to live, my car broke down and my cat was sick and I felt hopeless. I hated asking for help but it got to the point where I had no choice. My cat was in kidney failure and had to be put down and I remember telling my dad that I was giving up. I didn’t know what else to do.
Thankfully he and his wife stepped in and loaned me the money to fix my car, helped me get a new place to live and my depression lifted. As things got back to normal again I realized that I had just turned 40 and it was time to have my first mammogram. A few days after the test I received a letter in the mail saying that there were some findings and they wanted me to come back for further testing.
I was nervous about that but my doctor said there is no reason to be nervous, she would send me back for the tests and we would go from there. After the second round of testing I received another letter in the mail stating that they thought what I had was benign and to come back in six months to make sure. I was not comfortable with that and my doctor understood so she gave me the referral to get a biopsy because that is the only way to know for sure.
In the meantime I started thinking about the possibility of having to deal with another illness and tried to make sense of it. I realized that this was another wake up call for me. What did this mean? Was this my last chance to make something of my life? What if it was? So, once again I asked my angels for another sign realizing that maybe the universe is trying to tell me something.
I had never starting working on my book again and now I was afraid this was my last chance and I had better do something about it. The next day as I was driving home from work a car cut me off and I was angry about that and as I was staring at the car I noticed something unusual. The car was dirty and there was something written on it but it wasn’t the typical wash me, or I’m dirty. Instead I saw the word angel and it was written on the back of the car three times.
At first I thought I must be imagining it, but I knew it my heart those words were meant for me. The car was in front me long enough for me to see my sign and as I asked out loud, is this my sign? The car quickly drove away. I know now that I don’t need anymore wake up calls, I get the message loud and clear.
I don’t know yet if I have breast cancer but it doesn’t matter if I do or not. What matters most is that I write my book and tell my story. I have been given an amazing opportunity to inspire others and show that it’s never too late to live your dreams. I have faced many obstacles and challenges in my life, but I am still here. And I know God must think I’m pretty special to have trusted me with so much.
I know it’s my turn to shine and I'm going to shine bright enough for the whole world to see.
Copyright 2006 Donna Webster
