Do you remember those Saturday mornings when you were a kid and watched Bugs Bunny cartoons until noon? Do you remember the really, really large pink bunny with the Russian accent that fell madly in love with Bugs during one episode?
She’s famous for squealing: “ Give me LARGE bunya hugs!!!” And then she squeezes the life out of poor Bugs.
Well we have this cat.... And I’m not saying she’s fat, but to say she is pleasantly plump is putting it nicely.
She was an eight-pound cat a few months ago, but lately she’s mooched enough to gain nearly five pounds. That’s why she’s called Moocher. She’s also got a limp from a leg that has been broken twice now, but thanks to some good veterinary work she’s NOT also called Tri-pod.
But here’s the kicker. Whenever she sees our little mischievous kitten Loki tear by, all of a sudden this cat can skip and prance just like that big fat pink bunny and she chases after Loki, calling out, “Come heeere leeetle one and give me LARRRRGE BUNYA HUGS!”
And poor Loki knows she better run like a mad kitty, because when Moocher wraps her forearms around her she just squeezes her in a death lock and smooches her up. I’ve never seen anything like it. I’m telling you, that cat smiles broader than Alice in Wonderland’s Cheshire Cat while she’s prancing after poor Loki.
Now, I know bipolar disorder runs in my family, but I didn’t think the cats would have it. Can a cat get too manic? You ought to see Moocher playing hide-and-go-seek with Loki. “Leeetle kitten! Where are you hiding?? I go seeking....” She prances and hides, then stalks poor Loki and when her cover is blown, she prances some more.
The rest of the adult cats flatten their ears sideways and stare at anything but Moocher as if, by failing to acknowledge her, she isn’t really acting so ridiculous! Oh, the shame of it!
The kitten’s playfulness is contagious. Some cats require a little catnip. All Moocher needs is a little furball to chase after. You should see that kitten run! “Wheeeze, gasp, wheeze—help!”
“Leeetle kitten, I am seeking for you!”
Now is the time when Loki can be thankful that her ‘parents’ are two adult human beings that can whisk her up off the ground and away from Manic Moo.
“Give me leetle kitten! Here leetle one! Let me love you!”
There comes a time when a cat owner just has to put an overly enthusiastic feline on a time-out. Poor, pitiful Moo stares out of her crate. “No more love-loves?”
“No more love-loves.” Kids or cats, there’s never a dull moment in this household.
The Wholly Book of Doo-Doo-Rot-on-Me is adult satirical humor featuring adult language and adult content, and the work is a parody of the Old Testament Book of Deuteronomy.
