A tale of a lost soldier and his search for the meaning of life.
THE FORGOTTEN SOLDIER
The hands of time move swiftly through the ages. Years are but a flicker of time in eternity. Every persons' life is entwined with many and fate always has the last laugh. Each and every man must one day face his greatest fears.
The misty rain falls gently upon the parched earth. The sweet smell of the falling rain adds a new aroma to the drying grass and rotting leaves. It is a typical summer day in the small town of LaPlace, LA, a town of less then 10,000, a town where everyone knows everyone, or do they?
Audrey loves this town. She is a transplant from a small town in Pennsylvania. She and her husband David had decided to make this small town their home. They live the typical retirees' life. Audrey does volunteer work at the local VA home and David putters around in the yard.
Audrey enjoys her volunteer work at the local Veterans home. Since she and David had spent 21 years in the military, she feels close to the soldiers that live there. She loves to read them stories and to listen to tales of their military adventures.
One day, as she was leaving, nurse Jones stopped Audrey. She asked her if she would be willing to read to a veteran. A new soldier, Sgt. Jacobs, had arrived the previous week. He had been in various homes over the last forty years and according to his records he had never had a single visitor. He never received any letters or packages from home. Nurse Jones felt sorry for the soldier. He was a very bitter and angry man. All of the staff avoided any contact with him. Nurse Jones stated that she had heard that Audrey was from Pennsylvania. Sgt. Jacobs was also from Pennsylvania and Nurse Jones thought that perhaps Sgt. Jacobs might be willing to speak to someone from his own state. Audrey agreed to meet Sgt. Jacobs.
The following day Audrey went to Sgt. Jacobs' room. As she entered the room, her eyes were drawn to a very solemn looking man sitting in a wheelchair and staring at the wall. Looking around the room, Audrey noticed that there was not one picture, not one personal item of any kind. The room was decorated with old cast off furniture. It was the saddest room Audrey had ever seen.
The soldier quickly turned when he heard the door open. At first, Sgt. Jacobs just stared at her. Then he said, "who are you and what do you want here? Leave me alone. I did not ask for you to visit me."
Audrey was a little taken back by Sgt. Jacobs' remarks. Why was he so bitter? She had only come to talk with him.
"Hi, my name is Audrey. I hear that you are from Pennsylvania. I am too. I was born in a small steel town called Ambridge. Where are you from?"
A tiny smile came across Sgt. Jacobs face. Ambridge, Pennsylvania, how was that possible? He was from Ambridge. This had to be some sort of a trick. The doctors had told her about him and that is how she knew where he was from. She was making this story up just to get close to him. She could not be from Ambridge. Ambridge is a very small town, a town where everyone knows everyone else. If what she is saying is true , then we should know each other. We are about the same age, thought Sgt. Jacobs.
Sgt. Jacobs looked at Audrey. "You say you are from Ambridge? Where did you go to school?"
"I went to Ambridge High School, of course. Didn't everyone go there?
Now that was a stupid question, thought Sgt. Jacobs. All small towns name their high schools after their towns.
"What was your name?"
Audrey quickly replied, "Audrey Cymbalak."
No, no it cannot be, thought Sgt Jacobs. Audrey Cymbalak, a name from my past, a name I have been trying for more than forty years to forget. How could this be that she has found me after all of these years. Fate could not be so cruel as to bring her back into my life. I have spent every waking moment of every day for the last forty years trying to forget her. She filled my dreams and my nightmares. Not a day has gone by that I did not think about her and the love we had once shared. This is not possible, it must be the cancer drugs that I am taking. They are making me hear and see things that are not here. Life cannot be so cruel as to bring her back into my life now.
Sgt. Jacobs stared at Audrey. Yes, he could now see the young girl in her that he had once loved so many years before. Her hair was grey now but her eyes were still the same Hazel that he had dreamed about for years. How was this possible? He had given up hope years ago of ever seeing her again and here she was.
"You do not remember me, do you? My name is Michael Jacobs. Now do you remember me?"
Audrey looked hard at the soldier. Yes, the name of Michael Jacobs was still strong in her mind but was it possible that he was alive and right here in LaPlace. Michael had been her best friend in high school. He had gone off to the Viet Nam war and after a few months he had stopped writing to her and they had lost touch. Audrey looked even harder at his scarred and disfigured face.
"Mickey, is it really you? My God after all of these years, can it really be you? Where have you been? Why didn't you come home? "
Michael smiled, this had to be Audrey, no one else had ever called him Mickey. People had called me Mike but never Mickey. It was Audrey's nickname for him. Could this be Audrey, the girl that had broken his heart and had doomed him to this solitary life, Audrey, the girl of his dreams and his nightmares?
Michael looked at Audrey and said only one word, "Why?"
Audrey was confused. "Why, why what Mickey? What is wrong? Why are you so angry with me? I have never done anything to you. Mickey, what is it? Talk to me."
Mickey looked at her and said, "Get out of here. You ruined my life once, you will not have the chance to do it again. You have made me what you see before you: a broken bitter man. I will never forgive you for this. Get out and don't come back. You were not there when I needed you the most and I do not need you now. I never want to see you again."
With those words, Mickey turned his wheelchair away and faced the wall again.
Audrey could see that Mickey was upset and she did not wish to upset him any more. So she turned to leave. Just as she reached the door she said, "Mickey, when you are ready to talk just ask Nurse Jones to call me and I will come. I am here for you Mickey, if you need me."
With those words she left the room. Later that evening Audrey spoke with David and told him all that had happened that day. She was very upset. David assured her that she had done the right thing and that when Mickey was ready he would call for her. She just had to give him some time. After all it had been forty years since they had seen each other and many things had changed. Mickey was surely not the same man he had been back then just as she was not the same woman.
Months passed and Audrey continued to visit the VA home. However, she never stopped in to visit with Mickey. She would ask nurse Jones about him and her answer was always the same. "He is doing as well as can be expected under the circumstances."
Audrey wanted so much to speak with Mickey and to clear the bad air between them but at the same time she wanted to respect his need for privacy. Each time she passed his room she wanted to stop in but she just shook her head and walked on.
Finally in May nurse Jones called Audrey and asked her to come to the home. Sgt. Jacobs had taken a turn for the worse and was asking to speak to her. Audrey immediately left for the home.
When she entered Mickey's room, she found him sitting in his wheelchair. This time he was staring at the door. As she entered, she could see that his shaking hands held a yellow piece of paper and some photos. Audrey sat down across from him.
"Why did you call me, Mickey?" she asked.
"I need to get my life in order. I want someone to understand, someone to remember me when I am gone. Over the years I let my hatred take me over. I have no friends, no family, no one that cares. I need to share my story with you. Please stay."
Audrey stared at Mickey. "I am here for you. I would have been here for you all along if you just had let me. What happened, Mickey? Why did you shut me out? What happened so many years ago that you never came back home? Mickey, you must know that I cared for you and when you did not return home we all were worried about you. No one seemed to know anything about what had happened to you. We all assumed that you had died in the jungles of Viet Nam."
Mickey looked straight into Audrey's eyes and began his tale.
"Remember our prom night and how we danced until midnight? Then later we went to the beach. That was the last happy memory that I have. The next day I received my draft notice and had to report for my physical. After that it was just a matter of weeks until I was off to basic training. I hardly remember the next few months of training. You wrote to me every single day. After basic training, I received my orders for Viet Nam. It was a very sad time for me. I had to leave everything that I had ever know behind me. I had never before left my state and now I was going to fight a war in a country that I had never even hear of. The one thing that kept me going was knowing that you were back there waiting for me. You were my one true friend, my one true love. I knew that I could count on you to keep me together no matter what happened. You were my anchor, my strength, my link to home."
Audrey was amazed by this tale. She never realized that Mickey loved her. She considered him her best friend. Sure they had always done things together but she did not love him. It was true that at first she had written him faithfully every day but with college and work her letters became fewer and fewer. She thought he understood that they were just friends but apparently he did not.
Mickey continued, "The war was so terrible. I saw many things that are best forgotten. My life was a total mess. Then I received this letter from you with a very moving poem."
With those words, Mickey handed Mimi the yellowed letter he had been holding in his hand. It was a letter she had written to him those many years ago. In the letter was a poem that she had written just for him. She was surprised that he had kept the letter.
Mickey said, "read the poem to me, this poem kept me alive in those jungles, it gave me a reason to fight, a reason to live."
Mimi began to read.
WHAT ARE WE FIGHTING FOR
What are we fighting for? I've heard people say
If it weren't for war, we wouldn't be free today
Our fathers fought in the First World War
Never once asking What am I fighting for
Now people who will never fight
Shout out with all their might
What are we fighting for?
The only answer to their plea
They are fighting for you, they are fighting for me
How many more tears would be shed
If not for these brave men, we all would be dead
So let us American, as we say we are
Stand behind our brave men whether near or far
For peace cannot come without war
And this my friends is what we are fighting for.
Tears filled Audrey's eyes as she read the poem. She remembered the times well. It was a hard time for our country. Many young men had gone to fight a battle in a far off land. So many had died and had been lost forever. Our country had been divided over the war and there were many protests. Our soldiers returning from the war were treated badly. Unlike the hero's welcome given to the soldiers of other wars they were often shunned by their own people. It was a hard time for all.
Mickey continued, "I fought hard for our country. I did everything that I was asked to do. Many things that I did not want to do but felt it was my duty. I fought hard and did all my country asked of me. I lost many of my friends in the rice fields of that little country. I stood there with their blood on my hands and watched them die. Many were just boys. They had their whole lives ahead of them. The only thing that kept me going was knowing that you were waiting for me back in the world, you my one true love. Your poem kept me alive. I read it every night. The guys would laugh at me but the poem became my anchor. It was the one sane thing in an insane war. Your poem helped me through my darkest days and it gave me hope. All that ended the day that your letters stopped. It seemed that your attitude toward me and the war had changed. The very thing that had held me together during those horrible months disappeared with your last letter. I thought that you had given up on me too. I truly believed that you to had come to hate the war and all that it stood for. I was lost, devastated. It seemed that in a matter of months everything that I had known and believed in was gone. The war had taken away my innocence, my childhood. I was lost. It felt like my whole world, the neat little world that I had known all my life had been taken away from me. It was not long after that when I stepped on the landmine that took my legs. I was too ashamed to return home half a man and with you gone I had nothing to come home to. My reason for coming home was gone. I asked the military to send me as far away from Pennsylvania as they could and they sent me to a home in Mississippi. Over the years I have moved time and time again. I finally arrived here. It was like fate had planned for us to meet again."
"I have never shared this story with anyone but my time is short. I wanted to share it with you: the one true love of my life. I am so sorry that I never came home. I heard that you had married a soldier and got on with your life. I am sorry that I missed out on everything. Please grant me one request. Dance with me, dance as we did on that last happy day of my life."
With those words, Mickey put on an old record. Audrey laughed, it was the song they had danced to at the prom so many years before. Audrey placed her hands on the wheelchair and tenderly moved it around the room in time with the music. It was if time had stopped. The music took them back to a different time and place. A place of peaceful existence, a place full of young hopes and dreams and for just a few minutes Mickey was whole again. His pain was a thing of the past. Slowly, Mickey eyes began to close. Audrey thought he had gone to sleep but when she tried to wake him, she found he had passed on. Mickey had gone to join his fellow soldiers in a sacred place. He had finished his journey on earth. Poor, sad Mickey had lead such a lonely life.
Audrey and David went to Mickey's funeral in Pennsylvania. As the misty rain fell upon the almost deserted graveyard, Mickey was laid to rest beside his ancestors in the cemetery at the top of the hill. As the lonely sounds of taps filled the air, a single white dove flew by. Audrey knew that Mickey had finally found his peace. He was finally home. The lonely forgotten soldier, had come home to stay.
I have taken pride in writing this novel as so many people have the wrong impression on bikers because they dress in leather clothing which is to protect themselves in case of an accident. The majority of bikers are known Policemen, Firemen, Doctors,
