Just a silly short story that really makes no sense but is interesting, nonetheless.
I was theer when Noar built th' ark. Yes sir, I was there! Seed it from th' very beginnin'. Theer he was, a-standin' there like Alexander th' Great, lookin' over the land, a-wonderin' what was a-gonna' happen to everyone. Didn't expect that I was a-gonna' have to swim for my life, no sir, or I woulda' listened to old Noar. Well when it happened, it was too late for everyone.
There I was, a-sittin' there in my lawn chair, readin' the local gazette, thinkin' Noar a fool for spending all those many years a-buildin' on a floatin' zoo, when I noticed, out the corner of one of my eyes, a dark cloud a-creepin' over where I was sittin'. (I had never seed a cloud before, and by George, I done thought I had lost it!) I jumped out of my chair and started runnin' for cover. But you won't believe what happened next. No sir, you won't believe it, so I won't tell ya'.
Huh? Oh, all right, if you insistst. I'll tell ya', if you promise not to git scared. Okay?
The ground started t' shake. I heard a rumble that was so loud, people on Pluto could have heerd it. Water and steam started a-shootin' out of the ground like gysers, towering above me like Babel. Well I was scared, there ain't no denying that. I altered my course and started right toward Noar's Ark, yelling the whole while, "Noar, Noar, do--don't leave wihout me!"
Well by the time I reached the boat, I was too late. They had already shut the doors. Thunder rumbled and lightning flashed all around; water was rising out of nowhere. I lost my balance, went stumblin' to m' knees.
By the time I stood back up, the water had a-risen three feet. A few second later, three more feet! In no time at 'tal my body was under water. But I'm a good swimmer, see. I keept my head 'bove the water for a long time 'fore I got sense enough to climb up on top th' rudder on Noar's massive Ark.
By thunder, there I sat until it was all over. Two year, I think it were. And---
What? You don't know what you're a-talkin' about.
So there I rested, for---
I wish you'd stop interruptin' me. Noar did so have a rudder on his Ark!
Homer's Ill Iliad & Odd Sea Odyssey (420 pages) is an adult satire/parody rewrite of the classic stories of the 10 year Trojan War and of the 10 year adventure of Odysseus trying to return home to his native Ithaca.
The Wholly Book of Doo-Doo-Rot-on-Me is adult satirical humor featuring adult language and adult content, and the work is a parody of the Old Testament Book of Deuteronomy.