The old women sat,
as if waiting for the answers
to the questions asked so long ago.
Picking at her wedding ring,
staring off into a world only she can picture...
It was her past, as she saw it,
and no other could touch on her visions.

Unconsciously in ponder,
of yet another Thanksgiving Day,
without her husband...
a father, a grandfather,
a man of all moral decency,
with statutes
similar to that of a Pilgrim’s;
No need to make any stands here.

I knew she was thinking of him
when she looked down at her ring.
She missed him.
One by one her children came,
with their children,
kissing her softly,
greeting her in a holiday voice.
Some brought gifts and cards
and others just brought food to share.

I looked out among the trees
and a leaf was falling...
slowly,
descending towards the earth.
I thought of the old women.
Heeding her grand purpose among the family,
Soon she would leave all her memories behind,
beyond the branches of our tree.

Lately,
the usual visits with grandma
met us one on one with her,
but this Thanksgiving we will all be together!
While cherishing the time left,
she will still squint and smile at us,
and we will gaze at her,
without her knowing,
thinking about it all, would-if’s and maybe’s...

Oh how she does everything with such ease!
No hesitations, she just does!
Daily routines have worn grooves in her hands,
flattened her arches and hunched her back a little.
Her frown is constant and even more so,
it’s never really been a frown,
it’s a genetic thing!

Back to my leaf...
As it was falling
I watched it sail down
back and forth,
I thought about her life.
Slowly feeling the air beneath her body
rocking her gently, like a lullaby...
I can hear the melody of her years within us...
I can see her eyes slowly closing
and then I picture her being set,
so gently,
on the cushioned grasses.
I must do more for her before this happens!

I want to capture her voice
and hear all her stories,
right from the horses mouth,
so I speak.
I want to share her life
with my children and their children
and know always,
somewhere,
someone,
will never, ever, forget me!

Her life was simple,
and yet, more difficult than most.
As I put those same adjectives together
somehow it doesn’t make any sense.
Simple and Hard.
How can something be both?
I find myself going off on a tangent here...
So, Stop me,
(‘cause I can... )

I’m writing about myself here.
I always want to change the subject when I write about me.
I’d want, rather...to write about you!
Leaves falling...
and "death..."
I ‘m writing about my own death,
and how I think they...
May be?...
How will they think
in the years of my last?

Staring at me, no longer young.
I remember helping my mom in the end...
It was sad to be standing there,
holding onto her arm,
watching her strength diminish within seconds.
I see, knowing, realizing...
this is my mom
and she’s not going to be here much longer.
It’s been years and I still miss her!

They will miss me too and "Ya know what?", she says...
" I am so happy
to know that those thoughts
are evenly put there for everyone to have!
Especially, when there is so much love in a family,
you just know in your heart...
you just know...
Some, might not give gifts, or call, or stop by for a visit...
But, a mother knows who loves her.
It’s inbred in our subconscious.
A women knows who loves her!
Period!
We can question all our lives,
but if we are loved
by a certain someone,
deeper down
we know that the questioning itself is the answer!
Oh! If you must ask, so sad!

I know all my children love me!
What a wonderful, wonderful minds eye!
Today, I am this really old grandma
and when this happens,
I see each and every one...
watch that same leaf falling and thinking
all the same things about their life.
Evenly.
Thank you God for the leaves!
It gives us such purpose in death!
I do love this time of year...
Family!
That’s all it means.
So,

Where will you spend Thanksgiving now?