The story behind the inspiration of the poem "Ro-Ro Rows Her Boat". This is not a nursery rhyme, it is about grasping what cannot be held and letting go of what holds each person back with the bonds of prejudice.
Ro-Ro is a little girl who changed my life. She may even have saved my soul, though it remains to be seen if such a thing is possible. Nevertheless, she opened my eyes to a prejudice I had been carrying in me since my youth and helped me eliminate a fear that had been eating away at the core of what made me who I was. I always thought of myself as someone without preconceived notions or hatred of others who were classified as different from the so-called “norm”. Then Ro-Ro came into my life and humbled me in a way I never imagined a four-year old girl with Autism, who could not speak or understand a word I said, could do. But there she was, the one they called “the monster” and “an evil child”, exposing the angel within and teaching me a lesson I will never forget.
One day while I was working at a facility for people recovering from brain injuries, I was assigned to Ro-Ro. I had heard awful stories about her and was dreading the day ahead of me. I was angry because I hadn’t worked with children before that and didn’t want to deal with an Autistic kid who had nicknames made up for her by the staff who worked with her regularly. I was afraid of what might happen and of her as well. I went to her room resenting whoever it was that called in sick that day and caused me to get into this terrible situation. Well, it wasn’t a situation yet, but I was sure it was going to become one. Another staff member went over Ro-Ro’s files and interventions with me. She gave me all the basics and told me to call for a nurse if things got out of hand or she had any kind of “nursing” issue that required expertise beyond my behavior adjusting skills. Sounded good to me and I hoped for the best.
Then something unexpected happened, or maybe it was that the expected didn’t happen, but in any case, I found myself captivated by this little girl who I was told couldn’t do much of anything. I came to the conclusion that to those who saw a monster when they looked at Ro-Ro, it was because they saw a reflection of the behavior they displayed and deployed on her. Somehow she made a connection with me and we bonded very quickly. In spite of the various behaviors she displayed as a result of her Autism, she won my heart and showed me that the fears I had developed during my youth were born of lies and ignorance.
For several years while I was growing up, there was a group home for learning disabled adults across the street from where I lived. Very often, especially at night, they were not properly supervised. Sometimes they would get drunk and loud, and display very odd behavior, which for a 10-year-old kid was frightening. I grew to dislike them and was not averse to calling them “retards” and other such insulting words. It became a part of my vocabulary at school as well, along with most of the other “normal” kids. I found it comforting that the other kids were just as prejudice as I was.
I went through life oblivious to my disdain for those who were “lesser” than I was. I made judgments and went on my merry way. That is until one day while riding in a van along with my co-workers, on our way to a job. On the way, we drove by a school bus van that had disabled people in it. Without even thinking, I blurted out, “Oh, there’s a bus load of retards. Hurry up, let’s get past them”, as if driving next to them was somehow going to harm me.
As it turned out, the guy driving our van had a relative with learning disabilities. He didn’t say anything, but his attitude suddenly changed and he became very cold towards me. His sister was working with us and later told me he was very angry with me. Before then I hadn’t even been aware of my own feelings. But now I was confronted with a situation where I had insulted a “normal” person with my disrespect for others. It gave me pause and made me aware of it, but it didn’t change how I felt.
So, I shifted into a “private” mode of prejudice. I still hated “retards” and no one was gonna make me like them. Now all I had to do was hide my feelings and everything would be all right, that is until I met Ro-Ro. It’s hard to comprehend the changes she made happen within me. She overturned so many misconceptions I had that I could no longer hold onto the beliefs that formed the foundation of my prejudice. It crumbled into dust like a dried leaf on a dead tree that would never spread its seed of hatred again.
The day I met Ro-Ro an invisible angel came to me and released me from a prison that held me behind bars I wasn’t even able to see. She exists behind a physical prison that has no barriers to her soul. Only those who cannot see through their own prejudice cannot see the angel within her. Thank you Ro-Ro, your suffering has made me whole.
"Ro-Ro Rows Her Boat"
Ro-Ro rows her boat gently down uncharted streams
She can travel anywhere she wants, but only in her dreams
There she can decide where her boat oars will move her
Sailing to her happy home and a family that loves her
Circling in unknown, turbulent cold waters
Changing direction, guided by those deciding hers
Controlled by unseen hands steering her to and fro
Taking her to places that she doesn't want to go
The mystery of life she will never understand
I reach out to her but never know if she'll take my hand
I want to pull her from that boat and walk beyond the shore
Where love is real and she won't need to dream it anymore
Ro-Ro is a little girl who changed my life. She may even have saved my soul, though it remains to be seen if such a thing is possible. Nevertheless, she opened my eyes to a prejudice I had been carrying in me since my youth and helped me eliminate a fear that had been eating away at the core of what made me who I was. I always thought of myself as someone without preconceived notions or hatred of others who were classified as different from the so-called “norm”. Then Ro-Ro came into my life and humbled me in a way I never imagined a four-year old girl with Autism, who could not speak or understand a word I said, could do. But there she was, the one they called “the monster” and “an evil child”, exposing the angel within and teaching me a lesson I will never forget.
