Jake, Frank and Eileen lives come together - by accident
PROLOG: This story has been difficult to write and only using words with some any kind of civility. Since I have had a drivers licenses I have experienced “Road Rage”, as I am sure much of the reading public has so I am sure, as mine was, your immediate reaction was one of animal instinct. Mine use to be but now... It has taken much blood pressure medication to finally turn the other cheek – but I have learned. Some say I learned the hard way before it sank in that there are lots of people out there that have worse problem then me.
So…. Once upon a time….
If your name is Jake… you are in trouble. Look over your shoulder, there is a lady diving in the car next to you that is “out to get” everyone on the highways named Jake. Actually that isn’t ‘exactly’ true as she is not out to get ALL just one particular ‘Jake” that took “her space” at 70mph while traveling south on I95 just south of Washington DC. A “Jake” abruptly cut her off a couple years ago and his actions caused a major traffic accident that he didn’t even bother to stop and investigate. The driver she dubbed ‘Jake’ showed disturbing and discourteous driving habits and she now wants to teach him better driving manners. He put her in a hospital, destroyed her car and three others, caused her to loss two months salary while putting her further in debt and she now “owes” him retribution.
How will she do this? By doing the same to “others” every chance she gets at the off-chance “Jake” will be one of them and by being discourteous each time she is behind the steering wheel, by always being in a hurry behind the wheel, by having a deep-rooted belief she is right and the world is wrong and by simply parroting your actions – Jake. “Jake” you may be the sweetest and nicest guy to other but in a moment of carelessness or stupid ness I fear you have created a monster.
Why the name “Jake?” She feels it is a nicer name she gave you while in the hospital and just in case there should be others in the car with her then her normal emphatic “&%^&%$”. Jake – she has you in her cross-hairs.
She is looking for you - Jake. So, Jake be forewarned the next time you get “flipped off”, run off the road or tailgated by a very pretty little lady it is because you were acting and behaving rudely (the posting of this story on the Internet does not allow the kind of words needed to fully describe your character while driving so I must just say…) and not following the “rules of the road” – Jake!
Chances are, Jake you are not the only person in the world that has been minding his own business while on an expressway, highway, autobahn, back-road, Interstate that may not have been the aggressor but the “victim”. Being the kind gentle person your mother raised you could have smiled and moved to an outside lane all the while smiling and thinking “nice”. BUT… you didn’t. You had a bad day at work, your girl/boy friend is mad at you, you just came from the doctor’s office with bad news that you have herpes and you have a big date this evening… or pick a reason, any reason. No one has any problems in their day-to-day lives other then you so the world needs to “…stays the hell out of your way”.
Jake your thinking is flawed and you need to relax.
It is a known fact someday we will die so there is no need to rush that fact while on a road in your shiny whizmobile. Another shiny whizmobile or bucket-of-rusty-bolts or 18-wheeler or just plain dumb-SOB cut you off so it is your duty to retaliate. It’s human nature. It is the only positive response to reacting to stupidity. It is nature’s way. It is….
Dumb!
While on the subject of dying, you may not “die” or be seriously injured during or shortly following any “road rage” incident but your attitude and reactions while driving or as a passenger has been medically proven to raise hell with your body parts. Just to give you some numbers, there are sixty (60) major organs in your body that must work (function) in unison for you to survive. The pressure you put on these organ during periods of temporary aggravation raises hell with your BP, heart, kidneys, bowels, muscle grouping in the arms and inner thighs and vocal cords, just to name a few.
Relax.
I had the opportunity to live in Paris France for four years when I was young and fresh out of college. I knew everything about everything and to some was known as a lead foot when under a steering wheel. I and eleven million Frenchmen soon were in for a rude awakening. I should have been in youth heaven living in Paris, the city of Lights and free love as I soon learned that vous vous inquiéteriez pour dormir avec moi aujourd'hui would put a smile on my face and a spring in my step where vous fils sourd-muet d'une chienne would and did get me into all kind of trouble. When I finally tried Je suis désolé my life got and stayed much better.
Comment: I’m using the French in this story as “samples” only as I actually lived there and they make really good cannon-fodder for this kind of story. If France is offensive to you are you prefer another nationality or local, please substitute your favorite. Some suggestions might be; Arkansas, Tennessee, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas or California.
What took me a long time to understand about the French people at that time was the automobile was a toy – was new to the masses and they didn’t realize it was not only transportation but also a weapon. Following World War II the few Citrons they did have, they had used in fighting the Germans and they quickly discovered a thin skinned Citron was NO match for a 40 ton Panzer tank. Actually the Citron was no match was anything larger then a B-B gun. During WWII the French did not manufacture war goods but opened dozen of White-flag factories. After the war the automobile and “driving” was so very new they didn’t know the rules of the road. If asked when the best time to be on the roads in France is, the answer is between 12 noon and 2 PM.
In France most of the cars on the roads are; Citrons, Peugeot 404 and 405s, Renaults, two cylinder Citrons (shade-roller) the occasional Mercedes. I had a French Simca. My Simca was brand new as I special ordered it from the factory, and personally drove it off the end of the assembly plant in Paris. New but its four cylinders were not a lot better then the 50cc Honda scooter I used for transportation before I could afford four wheels. Gutless translate to “staying out of the way and don’t piss off anyone”. A lesson I learned the hard way. If there is any doubt in your mind what is meant by “hard way” picture this: Have a perfect stranger pull a handgun on you, point it toward your groin and you say, “…your yellow, you don’t have the nerve to pull the trigger…” Kinda like the same thing when you retaliate on the highway.
European autobahns are and were very different then the highway system in the States. Three lanes each direction with no speed limits – the far left lane (hammer lane) is reserved for Porsches, Mercedes BMWs and anything else with flashing headlights. One fact our European friends have yet to fully understand is that a blow-out at 220 kph is far more dangerous then at 120 kph (70 mph), or should I use the word “survivable”? Blow-outs are not the only problem you may encounter on the road. Have you ever “over-reacted” with a steering wheel and does “losing-control” ring any bells?
Consider this – Three lanes of rush hour traffic moving at 120kph or 70mph or even slower bumper-to-bumper and a car cuts you off barely missing your front end and you JERK the steering wheel in a “reflex action”, you barely miss neighboring cars and trucks but your adrenaline kicks in and you are “…going to get that SOB” for taking your space. No need for this story to describe the scene all you need do is picture in your own mind, what you did and the consequences. Wasn’t pretty, was it?
Do you know or understand Kinetic energy? Kinetic energy is the energy by virtue of the motion of an object.
Do you know or understand what a weapon is?
Do you or have you ever realized the many times you have been evolved in Road Rage you have a 3,000 pound weapon you are controlling and it’s kinetic energy can cause serious physical damage to others?
In traveling the world I have found it makes NO difference your skin color, the shape of your eyes it you roll your “Rs” or speak in the language of love or guttery slang or if you drive on the left or right side of a highway, human nature toward Road Rage is universal.
In the USA on the highway you need to know certain rules of the road. For example, a new shiny Cadillac, a BMW, Mercedes, and most everything else that is new and shiny will never ‘intentionally’ cut you off or try running you off the road – when they do, it is always unintended – so cut them some slack.
That rule changes a bit for folks driving beat-up pickups, anything with rust, or has a bumper sticker that reads: “go ahead and hit me, I need a new car”. These people you really have to stay away from so if one of them cut you off, bump you from behind or is simply annoying DO NOT try to retaliate because you will lose. These are the times to wave politely and smile and if anyone wants “you space on the highway”, let them have it.
A road rager can become upset because you accidentally cut in front of him or her, or other reasons that were not intentional. A key factor in reversing the process is an apology. Over 85 percent of road ragers said that they would drop the matter if the other "careless" driver simply apologized. Instead, road ragers claim, the "careless" driver seems to be unconcerned about what they just did and, therefore, needs to be taught a lesson…. And you’re just the right person to do IT.
Dumb…
One small step for you and mankind is to make a sign. No, not a middle finger sign but a real cardboard sign that can be read from thirty feet. Make a "SORRY" Sign and keep it handy as road rage can and does happen in less then a heart beat.
So you may live to fight another day try: staying in the car; do not respond with an angry gesture or action; keep your "SORRY" sign handy in the car and use it when needed.
I’m a military combat veteran with accredited kills so I know and understand rage but I keep a "SORRY" sign in the map holder on the driver's door and the passenger's door. I have used it many times and found it much easier then killing the other guy.
“SORRY” The word doesn’t hurt to say and is good for the facial muscles.
Life is too important and valuable then to lose it in some stupid manner on a highway loaded with “strangers” that have their own agendas and their own problems. Don’t make their problems yours!
Relax; don't take traffic problems personally; avoid eye contact with an aggressive driver; don't make obscene gestures; don't tailgate; use your horn sparingly (the polite honk can be misinterpreted); don't block the passing lane (some drivers think you're doing something to them when you do this); don't block the right hand turn lane; use common sense.
Road rage need not always happen on the open highways at 80 mph. It can and does happen to little old ladies at 5 mph in parking lots. I never really considered this act as Road Rage before until it happened to me – in Monte Carlo. I was in my Simca looking for a parking space. I spotted an empty place that was just open enough that I figured I could parallel park but there is a woman standing in the middle of the space obviously saving the space for her husband or someone who is nowhere to be seen. At the time my French wasn’t that good so I tried in animated English telling her to "move her fat butt" but that didn’t work. Several minutes passed as my BP topped out when a van full of kids and an obviously distraught man driving pulled into the “my” space.
As I yelled at him all the kids leaned out of windows in the van and waved and smiled as did the man and now lady I have been berating. Their van had Spanish plates and they were simply tourist trying to see-the-sights and enjoy-the-day, as I was. Being in France at the time I felt like the universal - Stupid American!! This was not an isolated incident happening to me but one that takes place every minutes of everyday, somewhere. When it happens to you, relax, and enjoy the moment as it just might be a defining moment for you as my experience was to me in that small kingdom in the south of France on a bright and warm sunny day oh so many years ago.
One last comment and I will shut up. Always remember your Road Rage is a lot like suicide: A very PERMANENT solution to a Temporary problem. So, whereever you are Jake, good night and sleep well.
Relax. It’d good for the heart, soul and liver.
EPILOG:
When Jake was released from his last hospital visit following still another car accident he was divorced from a beautiful lady that must now work two jobs to support her three small children.
Frank is happy in his average life-style driving for Pizza Hut but his family of five love him for who he is and his high moral and principles.
While in mid-Missouri, Eileen is still looking for “Jake”
A homonymless man writes shows what it's like to look up the laid he skirts when you’re lying prone(d) to the sidewalk, beer / joint / needle dangling from your hand /lips / arm.
Married ten years, and more in love than ever, Robert and Marcie have everything to live for. But a terrible secret is breaking Robert's heart: he knows that Marcie is about to die...
