A roll of wrapper lives in search of its identity. Updated 2007/07/07.
With apologies to Norton Juster and Nathaniel Hawthorne.
Once upon a time there was a roll of wrapper. It was the most beautiful, proudest, and most prized product to ever come out of the great paper magnates of the Pacific Northwest. Its inventors, a team of engineers from many different companies, started with the smoothest, sturdiest paper base made from the finest wood pulp of the finest farm-raised organic firs. Using the most advanced technology available, they deposited a thin film of rare minerals, carefully oxidized with exotic gases to bring out the most mysterious golden tone people have ever set their eyes on, vaguely suggestive of all the majestic colors of a sunrise, and yet shining with the subtle gentleness of a sunset. They then coated the paper with the most durable and flexible polymer film that magically grew itself out of a brown sludge and formed the most translucent, iridescent base coat, soaking through the metal and paper layers to form a solid, yet flexible layer. Not to take any chances, they laid a sparse layer of silicone fibers for glimpses of flashy shines, and sprinkled generously with pearlescent powder made from the scales of the fish that swam in the deeper trenches of the Great Ocean. The fibers and scales produced a feeling of being immersed in the Great Ocean, looking up at the blue sky through the water, and pondering the mysteries of life and light that danced on the surface as the waves shifted and bounced rhythmically and randomly. Flecks of mica were added just to overdo it a little, and the whole bit was coated again with a layer of weather- and chemical-resistant film, which toned down the mica flecks but gave yet another level of mystery to all the other layers of beauty and colors. The resulting wrapper, to the great pleasure of its inventors, was difficult to tear but easy to cut with scissors, almost melting under the gliding blades, hardly requiring the shearing motion of the hand. Because they weren’t thinking at all about the “usability” of the wrapper until someone at the unveiling meeting with the marketing department, probably someone from the marketing department, brought it up—they were only concerned with beauty and somewhat and reluctantly with durability—the inventors were very, very surprised to see just how usable their roll of prototype turned out to be, proven before the watchful eyes of the skeptical marketers and advertisers, who then broke into an avalanche of cheers and applause. The head of the marketing department held the cut piece of wrapper in her shaking hands without a single word, and had to hand it to the person to her right before breaking into joyous tears. Never before had the cold, calculating, yet passionate hearts of the marketers been moved so much by a product. They had found what they were looking for for a long, long time, a product that they truly, absolutely, believed in.
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