For a writing challenge, we were to brainstorm about different types of jobs, pick the most interesting one, and write an essay about what it might be like to hold that job day in and day out.
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SHERIFF FOR A DAY
I've been thinking about jobs, and I have decided what job I find interesting. I would like to be sheriff! Yessir, I would like to be sheriff of the little suburb where I live east of Pittsburgh, Sheriff of Murrysville. I don't think they actually have one, so I would start by creating that job just for me. First I would have to let the people elect me. That would work because all of the people are really friendly toward me, as you will soon see.
Actually, I am a bit of a pacifist and also a klutz, so there is no way I would carry a gun. I wouldn't want to hurt myself or anyone else for that matter. I'd get me a nice shiny star to wear and some water pistols to strap around my waist. I figure a day on the job would go something like this:
First I head down to the Mister Donut to get some donuts. If cops can eat donuts on the job, a sheriff surely can. Actually, I don't drive, so I'd have to get myself a scooter. Along the way, I might run into some of the town's fine citizens. A typical conversation might go like this.
"Hey Bambi! How are you this morning!" I'd give Bambi a nice wave. She is a very friendly lady around town and would probably wave back. What a jazzy dresser she is--black thigh-high boots and a purple mini-skirt. No one dresses like Bambi! She calls out and waves to a lot of people. If fact, I hear her now, calling out to a passing car.
"Hey Baby! Looking for some fun!"
Sometimes the car stops and she gets in to chat for a while. She's a very nice lady.
Once I've gotten my donuts, I would scooter around town and try to keep an eye on things. We have quite a few banks in Murrysville. I've got this buddy of mine, Floyd, who goes to the bank a lot. He's always in a hurry though. Last week as I was going in, he was coming out of the bank, rushing to his car.
"Hi Jo Ann! Would you hold this brown paper bag while I get my car door open?"
"Sure, Floyd! Gee, what are all those funny ringing noises? They're coming from the bank."
"Oh....just a fire alarm. Uh, I bet they're having a fire drill."
"Well, that's a good idea, I guess. Boy, this bag of yours is heavy. What the heck is in here?"
"A lot of....PAPER. That's it! A lot of green paper. Here, I'll take that now. Gotta run. Oh, by the way, I'd wait til later to do your banking. They're kind of 'tied up' in there right now."
"Oh thanks, Floyd. I'll just scoot down to Town Square instead and check things out."
I'd scooter around town waving to people and saying "Hey!" Sometimes we have litterers hanging around the Square. I would try to approach and talk reasonably with them.
"Good morning! Did you realize you just dropped that wrapper on the ground?"
"Yeah, so what?"
"Well, I mean, I don't want to make you mad or anything, but would you mind not doing that? If you wouldn't mind, I mean..."
"NO! Bug off!"
"Uh, okay."
As you can see, some criminals are just too vicious to argue with. I bet those guys will not vote for me to be Sheriff, but that's okay, people like Bambi and Floyd will. I can hardly wait for election day.
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Copyright 2002 Jo Ann English Janoski.
As a female in law enforcement 10+ years, I'd give you a thumbs up :)
Reviewed by Joe McCarthy
3/19/2002
I took this to bed with me so I could read it in comfort. It's a cute little read. Do you know anyone named Aunt Bea, or Andy? How about Opie or Barney?
Reviewed by Ronda Mosley
3/18/2002
I'd vote for ya! Great job and good luck with the challenge!
Reviewed by Florence Fry
3/18/2002
Think I'll just settle for 'having a nice day' as I am repeatedly told I must do. And reading your story was a good start :)
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