In approximately 21,000 words, I recount – confess -- the development of my personal beliefs. I was trained in and experienced several different denominations of Christianity and saw the religion up close throughout the world. I do not propose a particular answer to religious faith for others, but share the impressions and visions of the world that went into my own. I have a serious disease -- multiple sclerosis --; I cannot even hold a pen and must dictate to a computer. I have traveled widely during my life and learned several languages and seen many things. I very much want to share my "dream". I think many people are thinking about big questions now -- as ever. They may not find anything here that will give them the answer. But I think they will find something to think about.
Synopsis, ‘ntelligent Design This is the account of a dream in which I confess very fully my personal experiences with various forms of the Christian religion throughout the world. From the beginning, I can see -- or rather not quite see -- my divinity as He reflects my changing understanding of religion. I lived in Kansas before I began to travel throughout Europe and Asia at age 8. My first training in religion came there, but was easily overwhelmed by the older and more sophisticated visions that hit me in England and the Continent. I also spent two years at a choir school in New York. In Europe, I experienced religion in the context of the drama of coming to terms with the Second World War during the 70s and 80s. The intelligence of the design in religion had not caused the war, I realized, but it had to deal with it. I could not feel comfortable with the church's reaction to the horrors that still marked that people. I tried to fit religion into Western civilization as I learned it as a history major and a person and found my experiences as critical of the established disciplines as of established religion. I found it useful to understand the complex and changing realities I was learning in terms of mythic truth. Although mythic truth seemed to resolve my intellectual difficulties, I realized I had more immediate problems that could not be argued aside so easily. Although MS is not terminal, it has been devastating and others close to me have experienced death at a young age instead. I needed my divinity to address those problems as well. I do not pretend my experience provides the answer for others. But I do think my experiences gives them something to think about.
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