The dryer was broken. It has been for months now, so I took it to myself to fix said dryer and rid myself of the clothes line outside. It was during this time in which I realised thet most men fix things the same way. There are little deviations between a married man and a single man when fixing things. A married man will first find a child to hold the flashlight, put the screws in a spot that they wont get lost, and to pass down the acient art of fixing things. This is how the dryer project basically goes.
1. Announce that you are going to fix the dryer. (This warns the gremlins that live inside the dryer and anyone else who dont want to learn new words to move somewhere else for a while.)
2. Move the stuff off of the dryer
3. Move dryer to middle of the floor so you can get at all areas of it.
4. Smile because you found the screwdriver that had fallen under the dryer last time anything was fixed.
5. Look at the bolts on back of dryer.
6. Go to garage and look for tools.
7. Say bad words to the wasps and bees that have made a nest in garage.
8. Get bee sting ointment out and apply to stung area.
9. With ratchet in hand remove all bolts and put in safe place.
10. Wonder why the back doesn't come off.
11. Look at the top of dryer and wonder why it only partly comes off.
12. Find the screws on inside of the dryer door.
13. Empty dryer
14. Look for screwdriver
15. Repeat steps 7 & 8
16.Unscrew the screws in door.
17. Hop around as door hits you in knee.
18. Take top part way off because wires are connected.
19.. Jump away from dryer and unplug it
20. Look around to see if you were seen. Breathe a sigh of relief.
21. Look inside dryer, notice that dryer looks to be more of a problem than you anticipated.
22. Put door back on with one screw
23. Put top back on.
24. Try to move dryer back to location, almost ripping top completely off in process.
25. Announce that dryer is not to be used until you have more time to mess with it.
26. Silently wonder about prices of new dryers.
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Reviewed by S M
3/23/2003
had to read this and glad I did
Reviewed by clay
3/15/2003
Sounds like you speak from experience. There ought to be a law about you fixing anything that has electricity , remember the suburban.
I thought I had hit a site that would help me, it gave me a great laugh. I just want to look inside of the dryer and see if there is a screw loose. :Thanks for the laugh.
Reviewed by Beth
12/17/2002
Was a nice laugh despite the fact that my dryer has quit working. Didnt help much on drying the clothes, but did give me a much better attitude!!!!! Thanks, Beth :)
HILARIOUS!!!!! Sounds like our daddy!! He was good at fixing things, but sometimes he wasn't. He would be a total yutz! (sorry, daddy, but you know i love you!!!) karen in texas.
Reviewed by Marnie
7/14/2002
I know where you learned the tricks of the trade from....our DAD!
LOL...very funny, Sean! Sounds like my Dad (who knew everything but couldn't fix anything...kinda like Tim the Toolman Taylor :) ). Thanks for my laugh for the day...and be careful of those bees and wasps! :) (((HUGS))) and love, Karla. :)
The Wholly Book of Doo-Doo-Rot-on-Me is adult satirical humor featuring adult language and adult content, and the work is a parody of the Old Testament Book of Deuteronomy.
