I hadn’t slept in days, and I couldn’t seem to be myself again. My son had died only a week earlier, and I couldn’t get away from the pain. I was cleaning the house for the third time that day when my husband came up behind me and said, “Jessica, why don’t you take the car and go for a drive? I’ll watch the kids and get supper ready.” I objected, saying I needed to be home; but he shooed me out the door and said I needed a break, and not to come back in less than an hour.  I got in the car and decided to drive around downtown.  After only 20 minutes I grew bored and decided to get out and walk around. I looked in the window displays of clothing stores, coffee shops, and flower boutiques but none of them interested me enough to go in.

I was about ready to go home when I saw a new store I had never seen before. It was just a little boutique, tucked in between two tall business buildings and looked very out of place. Its sign simply read ~Mirrors ~ Free Everyday. I figured it must be a sale where you spend a hundred dollars or more then you get a little hand mirror or something like that. I almost passed it by, but something made me want to look inside.

The bell rang as I opened the door and walked in. The shop reminded me of my grandfather’s workshop and I breathed deeply of the rich scent.  A kind looking man came out of the back.  When I looked at him, something felt very familiar about him, as though I’d talked with him before, but I couldn’t think where.

“Ah, Jessica, how nice to see you, I’ve been hoping you would stop by for sometime. I finished your mirror years ago, and I wish you had come to see me sooner. But I’m so happy you came. I’ll go get it from the back room. Would you like to come with me?”  the man asked sweetly.
I was stunned!  How did he know my name? Where did I know him from?  Though I normally would’ve run out of the room after such a crazy greeting, I felt strangely drawn to him. I was curious and not at all scared, and I even felt peaceful when I looked into his eyes. I followed him through a swinging door by his desk and entered into an enormous room. I might not even call it a room. I couldn’t see any roof, or back wall. It simply seemed to stretch on for eternities and never end. All the walls were covered with gorgeous hand carved mirrors. Each and every one was a different color and shape, despite there being what looked like thousands and thousands of mirrors. They all had beautiful and intricately carved handles unlike the one next to it.

He walked to a section of the wall set back from the others. “This wall holds the mirrors that haven’t been picked up yet.” he said. “Let’s see, Jessica…aha!”  he said, as he took a mirror off its peg. “Here you are.” He handed me a beautiful mahogany mirror carved with amazing intricacy.  The wood surrounding the glass was covered in tiny delicate flowers of every kind. Birds flew among the vines that ran in and out of the flowers. I was speechless.   “I hope you like it” he said, breaking the silence. “I put all of your favorite flowers and birds on it.”
 

“It’s gorgeous.” I whispered, (though it was an extreme understatement). “Did you really make all of these yourself?” I said, gesturing towards the room that I had decided was a mirage of some sort.

He nodded “I make each one special, and different...So special, in fact, that only the person it is made for could ever own it. I love every one I make, each for individual reasons, of course.”

“But I never ordered one.  I guess my husband might have done it... He’s kind of forgetful. He must’ve forgotten to pick it up. How many years ago did he order it? Did he pay you already? I didn’t bring much cash with me.” I rambled.

He just smiled at me. “No, I paid for it myself. It’s a gift. I have one for everyone who’s ever lived, but many people never come and ask for it. Are you going to look in it?”

I looked at the glass but surprisingly saw nothing. “I don’t see any reflection. Does it not have real glass in it yet?

“No”, he chuckled softly, “you have to look deeper than the glass, not just at it. Look past where you would see an everyday reflection. Then you will see what no other mirror, will show you.”

“So it’s a magical mirror?”  I joked, doubtful of his competence.

“I guess you could call it that.”  He said seriously.

Perplexed, I looked at him.  He simply nodded encouragement and I again looked into the glass. I looked into it for a long time, my mind focused on this mirror. Soon, it felt like I was looking into my heart, my soul. I saw my dreams, my happy thoughts. I saw myself helping my mother cook in the kitchen. I saw the day I met my husband, and the day we were married. I saw myself running around with my little girls on a warm summer day. I also saw the sad memories. Tears came to my eyes as I relived the day my mother died, years earlier. I also saw the day my little boy died, just a week earlier. Seeing him lying peacefully in the casket again, tore my heart apart anew.  I saw myself crying in my room for peace and comfort, only the day before. I was demanding to know what I had done wrong to deserve the death of my son.  “I can’t watch anymore.” 

I turned away from the mirror and demanded angrily, “How do you know all of this happened. I was alone last night. No one was even in the house, and why is it showing me these sad and horrible things that have happened to me?”  I asked.

“They are not horrible. They may seem that way to you, but they are wonderful to your mother and son. They are safe in Heaven, and now they can watch you and help you in ways they couldn’t when they were on earth. They’re just waiting for you at the gates, hoping you’ll do what’s right so you can join them soon.”  

“How do you know what they are doing and how do you know these even happened?” I retorted.

He looked at me sadly,  “I was with you the whole time, you couldn’t see me, but you felt me there.  I’ve held you through all of your trials, comforted you, and carried you through the storms.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about? I would have known if someone was there…” My voice stopped when I noticed his hands. Tears came to my eyes as I realized who he was.  I fell to my knees, ashamed, and kissed his feet.   “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!”  I cried. 

He pulled me up and embraced me in his arms of love.  I cried as he held me. I felt the same peace and love I had felt as a child in the arms of my father.

After a few minutes, he said,  “There’s one more thing for you to see.”  I picked up the mirror again, and he placed his hands over mine as we gazed in the mirror once more. I soon saw the most beautiful woman I could ever imagine. I saw love in her eyes, and she shared it with everyone. Her life was full of immense joy as she served everyone around her in small and simple ways that changed the lives of all she met.

“Who is that?”  I asked.

“That is how I see you. This mirror is for you to see your life through my eyes, not through the world’s.”

“That’s me? That beautiful woman?”  He smiled and nodded and we again looked into the mirror.  I saw myself age and eventually die of old age. I thought it would be sad when I died, but all I saw was pure happiness. I looked for the meaning of my happiness, and cried out when I saw a little boy run up to me with his arms open saying “Mama, Mama you did it!”  My heart stirred within me.  I knew that voice.  It was my baby, my precious little boy!  I watched myself swing him up in the air and smother him with kisses, tickling him and grinning at his giggles. Then the vision vanished.

I felt a finger gently wipe away a tear that had escaped without me knowing.   “If you remember who you are, not in the world’s eyes, but in mine, you will make it home to your son and you can spend eternity together with me.”

“How can I ever repay you?”  I asked him, though I knew he had done more for me than I could ever do for him.

“Tell others how important they really are. No one is just an accident, they are individuals of great worth, all special in my sight no matter what anyone else says… That means more to me than anything else.”

I went home that day a new person.  I no longer felt like a failure, or a worthless person in a world filled with others' successes.  That mirror sits in a beautiful box on my dresser.  I don’t pull it out often because it’s all in my head now.  I can see what I need to do and what my goal is; but whenever I feel like what I’m doing is worthless, or unimportant, I look into the mirror and hear that little voice calling,  “Mama, you can do it!” and I get right back up and try again.