As an "Almost 50/Pre-AARP-escent," it is fun to look back at our pubescent days with fondness - even though, at the teenage-times, it felt then like we'd never get through the misery. And all of us, I'm sure, had a crush on someone, usually 5 - 10 years our elder, who in a simple way, helped us to learn our identity, even if we may have felt some form of rejection at the time.
Lynette or "Delectable" as we nicknamed her was an attractive brunette in her early 20's when David, Paul, Scott and I were in our high school years. We met her one summer when we used to hang out at the Tulane University Student Center, where she was helping her father run a camp program. Since my father was a Tulane Alumnus, I and my friends could use dad's card to swim there and enjoy other things like the bowling lanes, etc.
Well, as crazy teenagers in puppy love, we would scheme up all kinds of innocent ways to try to get Delectable's attention. On more than a few occasions, David, Paul, Scott and I hide in front of her house, and then leave roses for her at the front door after ringing the bell and scramming!
With Valentine's Day coming up then, we came up with an even more impressionable tactic to let Delectable know how seriously in love we were with her! Paul and his father delivered The Times-Picayune daily, so we all spent a Saturday night at his house and got ready for an avalanche of papers to be given to Delectable on the next day.
Early Valentine's Day morning with the darkness still permeating, after we had come down St. Charles Ave., we positioned ourselves in front of her two story house. We had found out earlier that her bedroom was on the second level right in the front of the house with a little porch adjoining it. Being careful not to damage anything, we quickly hurled at least 20 + Sunday Valentine's Day papers to the porch! You can imagine the sound we heard with those heavy Sunday papers landing!
That was the best "Newspaper Valentine's Crush" we ever had, and Delectable, in her simple accepting smile, enjoyed it! We all have grown up since then (at least we think we have!) and have lost contact with Delectable, but we will always treasure her for accepting us as we were in those acne-filled days! Happy Valentine's Day!
Keith John Paul Horcasitas, khorcasitas.yahoo.com. February 14, 2008.
The Wholly Book of Doo-Doo-Rot-on-Me is adult satirical humor featuring adult language and adult content, and the work is a parody of the Old Testament Book of Deuteronomy.
