Jack & Jill
Age: 62. Self-employed handyman, carpenter, painter, cabintemaker. Condition: Hodgkins survivor.
Jack and Jill are a close couple. With a close couple, when one is thrown into a crisis, both are thrown into a crisis. The spouse, though they may not have cancer, is always overwhelmed and overloaded. There is not only the normal work of job or career and of keeping a household, but now there's a sick person to care for, and phone calls and paperwork and medical appointments and insurance and ordering the right medications and administering the right medications and on and on. Being the spouse of a cancer patient is physically and mentally exhausting. Worry, stress and loss of sleep take a toll.
In Jack and Jill's case, they had the added burden of not being able to live in their own house during the cancer crisis. They live in a redwood forest north of San Francisco, in a handmade house that Jack built. It was an unusually hard winter, and the dirt and gravel road to their home was washed out. So the couple had to find other accomodations while dealing with Jack's cancer.
They stayed with friends all over Marin and San Francisco. And the Red Cross gave them money for motel rooms when friends' homes were not available. Dealing with cancer is hard enough. But it's a completely different picture when you're homeless. At least Jack and Jill have friends to help. Most homeless folk don't.
With Jack unable to work, their income was reduced. Jill is self-employed, as well. She does body work. She continued to serve her clients, in addition to all else on her plate. They could not afford the loss of income.
Initially, Jack was treated at Marin General Hospital and California Cancer Care in San Francisco. His cancer was cured. And they were very happy. Especially Jill, who had been living with the fear that she was losing her husband and best friend. She was ecstatic to learn that he was cured and cancer free! This is relief that only cancer patients will understand.
It was a heavy blow, therefore, to learn from follow up tests, that the cancer had returned, aggressively. They were terrified. It is a wonderful thing to learn that you have survived cancer and it is gone. But it is a terrible thing to learn that it has returned. Very bad news.
One patient, a martial arts master, has been through the cancer surgery and chemotherapy four times. Though he is among the strongest most courageous people I know, a real warrior, even he dreaded the follow up tests and consultations. Even he was discouraged to learn that the cancer had returned. It is crushing to learn that the harsh treatments you've endured have not been successful and that you must begin again.
I'm happy to say that the four time cancer patient is a survivor. He's tested cancer free for several years. He's returned to teaching martial arts five days a week and travelling on weekends to participate in tournaments. He keeps himself as busy as can be. Yet, I know he constantly wonders whether the cancer will return.
He parties a lot, with family and close friends. He organizes picnics and barbeques and banquets. He attends concerts and dances. He travels and celebrates in every way imaginable, as often as he can. He lives as though the cancer might return at any moment and he wants to squeeze as much living as he can out of every moment he's alive. Cancer changes forever one's goals and values. Survivors are often more compassionate and wish to do something to help others, or to assist my work. And they often seek out a new routine, more casual and relaxed. They learn to savor life instead of rushing through it. Enjoy this day. You may not have another. It's a commendable approach for all of us:
Take the cup and the jug
Sit at ease in the green field at the edge of the stream
For the wheel of time soon enough
Will bear you to the sea of extinction!
Omar Khayyam
"The Rubai"
When Jack's cancer returned the prognosis was grim. Several times I found Jill quietly weeping where Jack could not see. There were not many options left. Jack's oncologist finally chose to try a bone marrow transplant with an experimental and highly toxic chemo treatment. Jack was admitted to the UCSF Hospital for one month.
The chemo treatment used on Jack was so toxic that they put a sign on the door to his room warning anyone entering not to touch the patient or their own eyes or mouth and to wash their hands on leaving the room. That's some scary stuff to be pumping through your body.
As the chemicals passing through Jack's body sweated to the surface of the skin, they would eat the skin away unless the patient took 2-3 baths each day. As I watched Jack endure this treatment his agony was plain to see. Sitting in his bed, he constantly moaned and hugged himself, rubbed his body, and rocked in his bed incessantly. He could find no ease. Exhausted, he could find no sleep.
Jack smoked marijuana both before and after the bone marrow transplant. However, the bone marrow transplant patient is extremely vulnerable to infections, especially of the respiratory system. For this reason, Jack's oncologist restricted use of smoked marijuana during the month of the bone marrow transplant.
Jack has expressed to me often how much relief he gets from the marijuana. Without it he can't eat, nausea is ever present. If he forces food down, it comes back up. He can't sleep. Fatigue mounts. Physical body pain mounts and becomes unbearable. But with the marijuana, he has an appetite. He can eat and keep food down. He sleeps. And his body pain is reduced substantially.
On learning that he was to spend a month in the hospital undergoing a very hostile chemo routine, without being able to smoke marijuana, Jack became panicky. He begged me to not forget him. Jack had been on both a smoking and an eating therapy. I promised him that I would bring marijuana medicated edibles to the hospital for him to continue his oral therapy during the transplant and chemo.
Jack had tried Marinol. But as with every chemo patient I've known, he found that it was not as effective as the real thing. Not a single patient in my experience would use Marinol if they could get marijuana. Some will not use Marinol under any circumstance, even if they cannot get marijuana! I've used Marinol and find it to be only fractionally effective and its effects crude, heavy and sluggish compared to marijuana. And it cost $17 a dose, much more than natural marijuana.
Jack needed some strong hash cookies. So Tara and I made a special batch of cookies for Jack. Instead of marijuana oil in the recipe, we used canola oil, in which we dissolved hashish, 1/2 gram per cookie. This strengthens each cookie by a factor of 4 or 5. Normally, when I want to increase the strength of the baking for a chemo patient, I will add 1/4 to 1/3 gram of hashish per dose. But for Jack's discomfort, I wanted these cookies to be super strong. These little hash cookies, perhaps an inch and a quarter across, did the job nicely.
CAUTION: Doses of hashish this high are for chemo patients only. They buffer extreme levels of physical discomfort and the side effects of chemotherapy. They help the patient get away from the body or achieve sleep. Even then, do not eat a whole dose the first time. Nibble a small piece of cookie or brownie every 60-90 minutes until you find your comfortable dose. If an experienced recreational user were to try a cookie with 1/3-1/2 gram of hashish, they would very likely find themselves too heavy to sit or stand and possibly falling into deep slumber. Do not worry. It will wear off. Marijuana is not lethal.
NOTE: The estimated L-50 dose for smoked marijuana (L-50 is the dose that would be lethal for 50% of adults) is 40 pounds taken in a single dose, a feat that is obviously impossible. Marijuana is not lethal.
The hash cookies were perfect for Jack's extreme level of discomfort. Marijuana and hashish can buffer the side effects of the worst chemotherapy. I've witnessed it again and again.
If you ever have to undergo chemotherapy, marijuana or hashish should be part of your protocol. You cannot change the fact that you have cancer or must endure harsh therapies. But you can change the quality of the experience, mitigate the discomfort, reduce the fear and suffering. You can buy some hashish at a local co-op and ask a friend or loved one to bake some hash cookies for you, following instructions in this book.
With the oral dose of hash cookies, Jack was able to get through his bone marrow transplant and chemotherapy. He is now finished with treatments and is testing cancer free. He and Jill just received word that the road to their home has been repaired. After months of living like Gypsies while dealing with cancer, they can finally return home! Cancer free! Good luck, you guys!
