(Excerpt from Heal My Wings:  A Healing Guide for Women)
I would like to share my story. I grew up in a middle class family in Decatur, Georgia. After I graduated from high school I became a rebellious soul. I’ve done some things that I am not proud of but I will share my experiences if it is going to help people. My parents were very strict. I was very sheltered when I grew up and I did not know much about the real world. I now know that my parents were only trying to protect me.

When I was seventeen years old, I’ve experience first hand rape and domestic violence from previous relationships. As a victim I know first hand how it tears away at your spirit and how it makes you feel like you are worthless and how it affects your self esteem.

I had a very stormy marriage with my ex-husband ranging from domestic violence to adultery. As a police officer, my ex-husband, was a very angry man. It was like he came home with a dark cloud over his head. He took a lot of frustrations out on me. It does not feel good knowing that you spouse is seeing other women and refuses to change. Every night I felt like I was walking on egg shells. After work, I never knew what kind of mood he would be in. I often times felt too scared and unsafe to go home.

My ex-husband’s cruel words hurt like a jagged edge sword. Verbal abuse can cause just as much damage to ones spirit as being physically abused; both tears away at your spirit and destroys your self esteem. The ugly words, yelling and screaming were turning to pushing and shoving to eventually being threatened with a gun. I knew that it was time for me to go. I could tell the fights were starting to affect our children. When I found out that my ex-husband got another woman pregnant while we were married it just adds more injury to insults.

I knew that I wanted to leave my husband but I had to make careful plans to do so. I knew that he was not going to let me leave so easily. He had a very bad temper and leaving would only add fuel to the fire.

I secretly went out with my real estate agent to find me a new house. The only mistake I made was making my banking statements too accessible to him. I put it up in one of my binders and he found it and started looking at my accounts and trying to see how much money I had. He was trying to find ways to keep me from having money and to take away my independence. He always wanted to have complete control over me especially when it came to my finances. I would suggest to any woman trying to leave any abusive marriage is to never leave your account or money too accessible for your abuser it can sometimes make matters worse.

When I finally left my ex-husband, I felt free. Now when I come home I no longer feel like I am walking on egg shells. I can come home and be at peace. And my children were also calmer. It was like a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders.