BARBARA’S SILVER BIRD

By Haribaldev Kaur

          “Wake up, wake up girl! It’s time to get ready. Mr. George will be here soon
to take us to the airport. Do you want to miss your plane,” yelled Mr. Williams her guardian.

As if by magic the words entered through Barbara’s ears and sent off an alarm deep into the core of her being.  Miss the plane…her only chance to get away? Was he crazy? Not if she had anything to do with it. She would take a chance walking to the airport if that were the case. She would not and could not miss the plane, set to depart for the U.S. at 8:30 Tuesday morning.

Her mother had left the Island to the U.S. when Barbara was only 11 years old to make things better for her and her family. Since that day Barbara wondered everyday if she would ever hear the words that a letter had come for her to go to the Embassy to get her papers granting her permission to travel to the U.S. The letter finally came two years later.

 Now, Barbara was the oldest one of her mother's. She did not like Mr. Williams her caregiver, because he often mistreated them. And, as a result she often disobeyed him. However, when the letter came he used it as a threat. If she did not obey him he would tell her mother she was being a bad girl and she could be left behind while her brothers and sisters were sent off instead.  So Barbara had to be a “good” girl. She made sure she was not only "good" but also set an example for her siblings. She would help them with their chores and make sure they were ready for school. She was a mother to them. She wanted to make certain they would all join her and her mother in the U.S. one day.

When the letter came from her mom Barbara had to make trips with Mr. Williams back and forth to the Embassy always with a stack of papers. She never knew what the papers were or what was going on. And she knew better than to ask Mr. Williams; for he liked harboring information. It made him feel important. All she knew was that this had to be done for her to go to America. Whatever! She would have walked up and down Mount Everest, planted ten acres of corn and peas by herself if that would get her off the island and away from Mr. Williams. Then one day, finally, all the papers were signed and the date for her flight was set. She was so excited she could hardly contain herself. So she went through the neighborhood sharing the news.  All the other kids in the neighborhood were happy for her when they heard she was going to America. Back in those days, if anyone got a chance to go to America, Canada, or Europe it was considered one of the greatest things that could ever happen. It was as if the whole neighborhood would be riding on the shoulders of that one individual as they boarded the plane. With them they carried all the hopes and dreams of all who were left behind.

The neighborhood planned the biggest celebration for Barbara just as they had for a number of individuals. On the night of the celebration Barbara told her siblings she would not be falling asleep; for she was afraid she might not wake up the next morning on time for her flight. Barbara’s celebration lasted well into the night. After seeing Barbara nod a few times, during the party a neighbor decided to walk her to bed.

The next morning was a bright Tuesday morning. The sun shined bright like a golden ribbon in the sky. It was the most beautiful morning Barbara had ever seen. The sky was blue with not a sign of grey clouds. The leaves on the trees seemed greener and if Barbara was not mistaken there were definitely more birds singing. Even grumpy Mr. Williams would not cast a shadow over the golden glow that beamed its way from Barbara's feet through the top of her head; for this was going to be an adventurous day for them all. Everyone would get to go to the airport to see her off. Just then Barbara's siblings rushed into the room where they thought she was still sleeping to tease her saying: “Hmmm… thought you weren’t going to go to sleep.” But before they could get a response from her, she was up and out of the bed dressing with the speed of lightening.  

          Everything was ready. The taxi was scheduled to arrive the night before and the suitcase was packed.  Although Barbara was the only one leaving, one would have thought everyone was leaving; for her and her five siblings were all rushing around from room to room. It was quite challenging to get ready with only one washbasin. However we were all ready by the time Mr. George came in his old taxi.

          "Honk, honk," tooted the taxicab.

          Now Mr. George’s taxi was not a real taxi. It was an old beat up car that he used to take people to the market in. If someone got lucky by getting their right to stay on our island he would drive them to and from the airport. This morning that beat up old car was the most beautiful thing Barbara had ever seen.

          "I want to sit in the front seat," all the siblings screamed in unison.

          Mr. Williams, the guardian of the bunch...with his old, grumpy self yelled at them:  

          "I will sit in the front and of course everyone will shut their mouths tight! Every one of you get yourselves in the back seat and be quick about it."

           All heads bowed to the ground and whispered yes sir. The children silently marched to the rear of the vehicle and firmly placed their posteriors on the seat. But in no time the joy was back in their faces and voices again. Poor Barbara, as much as she wanted to leave this place she could not help feeling torn about leaving her brothers and sisters with the monster, Mr. Williams. But there was nothing she could do. Then she thought for a moment. Surely her mother would send for the rest of them soon.  Perhaps, she just sent for her first because she was the oldest. Along with this thought, came the thought that all this might be a mistake and at any moment someone may tell her she cannot go for some reason.

          Barbara tried to refocus. Recall to your mind the clear glass balls, filled with liquid that when shaken up move all the tiny particles inside them. And then once still, the particles settle to the bottom revealing the clear setting again. When Barbara had thoughts she did not like she tried to shake herself like this and wait until everything settled. The good thoughts would come back into view the way she liked it. Today she only wanted to think good thoughts...to think about getting on that Silver Bird and hearing the engine roar as it soared high in the sky. It would bring her closer to her mother and further away from the grumpiest people on earth, Mr. and Mrs. Williams.       

          On the way to the airport, the back seat of the taxi was like a beehive with all the little bees buzzing around. Everyone wanted to know what Barbara was going to do first when she got to America.  She wanted to show them how happy she was and join them in excited conversation but all she could do was nod her head up and down like a spring coming out of a ripped mattress. She wanted to be excited, but worry clouded it out even after she tried to refocus. What if she got all the way to the airport and someone said she couldn't go? She was just so scared she felt if she opened her mouth she might burst into tears.

The ride to the airport took longer than it should have taken. Old Mr. George did not believe in haste. He was always saying “haste makes waste”. Something that Barbara would come to appreciate and to practice later in life. But at that moment she wished he would hurry up. Thank goodness everything was planned so they had enough time for traffic, long lines and Mr. George’s philosophy on making haste. The airport was finally in sight and Barbara let out a long sigh as if she had been holding her breath all the way there.  Mr. George was busy trying to find a “suitable” place to park, which became a process that took up another ten minutes. To this day, Barbara still wonders what Mr. George was talking about when he said he was looking for "suitable" parking. Anyway they were there and that's what was important.

This trip to the airport was the first for everyone except for Mr. George, and so everyone was pointing at everything and talking very loudly. Barbara looked at her siblings. They were so excited about everything. She knew they were too excited to realize their big sister would not be there in the morning. She would not be there to take care of them for a long time. She became sad. When Mr. George stopped the car, Mr. Williams immediately got out and removed Barbara's luggage. As she gave her siblings hugs and kisses the tears swelled in her eyes. She held them back; for if they saw her crying they would panic. It was a bitter sweet farewell. She felt someone was in her belly twisting her intestines with all their might. She stopped. She had to pull herself together and be strong for them.

Mr. Williams took Barbara to the register to check in and handed the workers her traveling papers. It wasn't that she couldn't do it herself he just wanted to make sure she knew that without him nothing would go through. For every opportunity he got he wanted to remind Barbara he was the boss and at any moment he could decide her fate. He was in charge and had the power over her life.

If you saw Barbara you would think she was a grown woman.  Her body was well developed. At thirteen she was five feet and seven inches tall.  She was almost as tall as the lady behind the counter who was checking her in. She smiled at Barbara and told her she was a very lucky girl to be going to America at such a young age.

“Who are you going to meet," the woman asked.

 “I am going to meet my mother," Barbara told her. The words sounded so strange coming out of her mouth. It was as if it came from someone else.

          Once Barbara was checked in Mr. Williams turned around and walked back towards the car without saying a word. The woman gave Barbara instructions and pointed her in the direction to walk to the plane's gate, and so, she was finally on her way. She could feel her anxiety starting to leave. As Barbara walked inside the airport she could not believe her eyes. It was the most beautiful building. She could not believe how high the ceiling was. She was amazed at all the different kinds of people. She turned around to wave goodbye one last time at her siblings and the grumpy, Mr. Williams. They were all still standing near the car, waving at everyone as they walked in and out of the airport.

          Now, Barbara had developed this habit of shaking her leg when she was nervous and as she sat there waiting for her flight to be called her legs were moving like horses' legs getting ready to run around a race track. Finally, a voice came floating from the roof:

          "Flight 307 to JKF boarding at gate 9, all passengers please begin boarding."

          The woman at the register told Barbara where to go and what to listen for. This was it! Several people got up who were entering through the same gate. Barbara went and stood in line. And as she made it through those doors she could feel her anxiety leaving. Things were getting better and better. She didn’t look back; for she knew it would contaminate the joy she was starting to feel.

In her hand she carried a few items; a bag with a light snack inside she could eat on the plane, a pocket book, and a manila envelope she was told to give to the Immigration Officer at the John F. Kennedy airport in New York City. No one told Barbara what was in the darn thing, but only that it was important and she needed to make sure she held on to it. She was already scared and nervous, but carrying around that envelope made things a little worse.

After giving the stewardess her boarding pass, Barbara walked onto the plane. It was huge inside and had many chairs all over the place. Some were placed near windows and some were not. Oh, how she hoped for a window seat. And to her surprise, she got one. As she sat down she looked out the window and just happened to see Mr. George's taxi leaving the airport. She hid her face as tears began flowing from her eyes; for she did not know when she would see them again.  

"Oh God," she prayed. "Take care of them." 

As the plane took off, she squeezed the manila envelope so tight only grace kept it from bursting at its seams. Barbara's eyes remained closed as the plane lifted off the ground. The pressure made it seem as though someone invisible was pushing down on her chest. She had never felt anything like this before. She looked around nervously. Then, something strange started happening with her ears. They seemed to be popping. Suddenly, she could not hear anything. She was scared. She wanted to get off the plane. And just as she was getting ready to scream for her life the stewardess came and assured her that it was normal. She told Barbara to swallow or yawn to open up her ears. Barbara thought it was weird to yawn if you weren't tired, but she tried it and it worked. Soon she could hear again and the invisible person who was pushing down on her chest left.

A few moments later and she was calm...safe...on her way to America. No more bad dreams, no more sleepless nights, and no more Mr. Williams. She opened her eyes and released the death grip she had on the poor envelope. There was no telling what was ahead for her, but she knew what was behind and she hoped that nightmare was gone forever. The plane had become her little angel of light, her silver bird taking her away to safety. Her calm soon turned to tiredness. Perhaps, it was from all the stress she experienced earlier. She soon found herself nodding off and before too long she was fast asleep, dreaming she was running through fields full of beautiful flowers...her feet wet with dewdrops from the grass...the sunlight warming her face.

It was 10:00 at night when the stewardess tapped her on the shoulders and asked her to bring her seat forward; for the plane was beginning to descend into JFK. For a short groggy moment Barbara did just what the nice lady asked her to do. Then as if a light bulb went off in her head, the realization hit her like a bolt of lightening. She was in America! She was here! She was finally here! They couldn’t send the plane back now. Besides if they tried to send her back now she would runaway like she'd done before. Only this time they wouldn’t find her. She would make sure of that. She wasn’t afraid. She was safe and everything was going to be all right.  As the plane made its descent into JFK the tears slowly flowed down Barbara’s cheek. She was getting ready to see her mother after all these years. She whispered thanks saying only three words over and over again in her mind...Thank you God!

It didn’t matter to her that she was in a strange country. It didn't matter to her that she didn't know what to expect or what it was going to be like. To Barbara, anything would be better compared to where she was living on the Island and who she was living with. She could handle it. She was strong. She had faith everything would be all right. 

When Barbara walked off the plane, she left her old life behind her. She handed over the mysterious manila envelope to the Immigration Officer and walked towards the place where she was told her mother would be. And with each step she was ready to begin her new life.