BOYS NIGHT OUT

by:  Linda Law

Another hot summer night and it was Jack's night out with the boys.  Early in the marriage, Boys Night Out was several nights a week, then I had to put my mafia smile on and carry the heavy Glock where my hubby could see it shine in my delicate hands.  It took both hands to hold, and thankfully, I never had to use it!  Amazing how quickly hubby realized that this "Dog don't hunt" (good ole Texas saying).  So, the night out was sharply reduced to once a month.  Actually, I enjoyed the night out myself; because it gave me a chance to send the kids to a neighbor for an overnight sleepover and I poured a nice hot bubble bath, read a favorite book, even indulged in Frito's and Spinach dip in front of the TV watching Dynasty.

Tonight was a big "to-do" for the boys as most of them were from the job...the construction company where hubby was Superintendent.  He was getting an award and a couple of other guys were too, as well as a nice bonus for completing the job ahead of schedule.  He said, "Oh, I won't be too late...It'll be boring for the most part, so don't be surprised if I come home early."  Like I believed him!

Our eleven year old daughter didn't want to sleepover with her friend, so I told her we'd make it our "Girls Night Home".  We painted toe nails, ordered pizza and just enjoyed the peaceful evening without her brothers and her dad.  Around ten I realized that hubby would not be home early, and it would be at least midnight before he came home from his "boring" event.  Yes, he was the construction boss, but I wore the pants at home, most of the time...and he loved it!

Sissy went to bed around 10:30, and within minutes returned, "mommie, can I stay in your bed til daddy comes home?"  I agreed, and we kept watching TV. By 11 we were both yawning and ready to turn out the lights...so much for an exciting evening.  We tossed awhile and began to realize that it's dark out there, it's late, the boys aren't home, and dad isn't home...and Sissy is not going to be much comfort, but having her in my bed was better than being alone.

Just as I was dozing, I heard a loud SPLASH!..then heavy footsteps.. SPLASH...footsteps... This happened several times. I was trying not to panic, but Sissy was awake and afraid as well.  Our master bedroom had double glass sliding doors leading directly  to the pool and patio deck.  It was a habit to pull the drapes shut before bedtime, so now there was no way that we could see who was using our pool.  "Someone isswimming in the pool sissy..we must be very quiet.. hand me the phone."  Well, this was one of those cute little pink princess phones, and you had to push the little button, "O" for the Operator.  There was no 911 emergency number in those days. "May I help you?" came the voice, and I whispered to her that my husband was out with the boys, and that my daughter and I were home alone. I explained that we were trapped in our bedroom with someone, maybe even more than one....swimming in our pool in our back yard!  The Operator said that the police were on the way, and that I should stay on the line until they arrive.  Finally, we heard loud noises, several footsteps...then a loud...FREEZE!  Oh my goodness...some one was in our yard, and the cops caught them! Soon there was knocking on our front door, while I ran to answer it. I also noticed that there were several police cars surrounding our front yard, lights flashing all over, and it looked like a major crime scene.  The police followed me into the house, and I led them to the bedroom, where one officer, pulled the drapes open....and then opened the double glass doors.  That was when I saw them! There on the patio deck, were about six policemen with guns drawn, and putting them away.  Thank God they didn't have to shoot....however; they were laughing so much I didn't understand...this was a very serious matter... What are you laughing at? I wondered.

To the right of the pool, standing in the shadows, were two large Labradors...each soaking wet!  They had found a way to shove open the side gate, and decided to take a nice swim.  Several laps later, they had scared us half out of our minds, and half the police department was enjoying the final outcome of what had begun as a very scary call.  Needless to say I had to answer questions, and they kept asking, "Where is your husband?  Does he normally stay out this late?  By now it was almost 1:00 in the morning, and since the fear and excitement of the intruders was now over...I was FURIOUS!  Right about then, hubby stumbles into the house, looks at the policemen standing in our huge living room, sees his daughter, and me standing there glaring at him....and he knew!!!!  CURTAINS!!!!!  Well, everyone had a good laugh, the dogs were let out to head for their homes down the street, and the police went their merry ways, laughing as they exited.

Hubby thought he could sweet talk me into not being so mad...but I decided to use this for awhile...at least for the following month...when it was "boys night out" again.  His buddies teased him and told him I probably lured the dogs into the backyard so I could call the cops.  They thought it was funny to tease the boss.  They knew better than to tease his wife!!