There she is my beautiful avatar. Long, silky dark hair, deep almond shaped brown eyes, and a body my husband would kill for! That’s me…no her…I mean my avatar. I don’t look much like that at all; I only wish I did!
Right now we’re—my avatar and I—sitting at the Blackjack Tables kicking butt!
We are up in the tournament by $204,000! We are going to win this one! I can just feel it! And we do win, another 500 thou into my bank. That puts my bank balance up to $47 million. Think I’ll take my avatar to the slots and see what I can do there. There’s one slot, a progressive fruit machine that we love to play. The jackpot is always $10 million and change. I’ve hit it three times already, and I’ve won several Hold’em tournaments, too, which explains the $47 mil.
I click on my fave slot and wait, but the program’s acting funky today and my click takes me to the ‘Shoes’ slot. No, no, no I didn’t click on that one; that machine is stupid, I tell myself—I'm not a shoe collector, but avatar me probably is—and as I move the mouse to the slots icon I swear my avatar turns and looks at me, but when I look back at her, she’s staring straight ahead, like always. Weird. I open the fruit slot and deposit $5 thousand into the bills opening. Man! It would be so great to go to Vegas and be able to put $5,000 into a $100 slot! I think.
Every time I sit down at my computer and go into my virtual casino, I wish that the money I had made already was real so I could do just that on vacation! I’ve never been to Vegas, though, and probably it’s not in my near future.
I play the $5 thousand and put in five more, but my phone rings. Time to go to work! So, I exit the computer, answer the phone, and off to making that $47 mil I go! Yeah, right!
“Yelloooo?” I'm a little happy about my winnings, even if they're fake!
I listen for a moment and nothing. Nobody on the other end! Those kind of calls always creep me out. Too many scary movies, I guess. So, I give the speechless caller another minute of my time and say hello in a language they can understand, but still nothing!
What do you know?
Before I can hang up on the perv, he or she hangs up on me! What nerve! Don't you just hate that? And just before the click, I hear some kind of strange language that's kind of garbled, you know, one of those languages where the speaker's words could sound like a different phrase in another language. Like the Simms! You know, the first one, where they talk and it sounds like they say, “Boogersnot!” when they get mad, but you know that can't be what they really said!
Well, the caller's phrase sounded something like, “Later, sucker!”
Surely not! I shake my head and laugh! How stupid.
I put in my morning work on my book (it's summertime and I don't have a real job in the summer my husband says) and I decide to take a break. Sure, another $10 mil sounds like fun.
I open my casino game.
I click on the avatar selector.
I don't see my beautiful avatar, the one I wished I looked like?
Even worse, I don't see my $47 mil!
Where is it? I scream! NONONONONONONO!
Wait! Where is she?
That bitch stole my money! Well, technically, our money! But $47 mil? She could have shared.
I hear that phrase again! “Later, sucker!”
I quickly create another avatar.
He looks like Howey Long.
He has cop hair!
I enter the casino, acting like a player, you know? But really, I'm there to find her!And my $47 mil!
Avatar Howey heads for the place where we heard that phrase, the Roulette Wheel. Is she there? No, already gone.
Hold 'em? No, not there, either.
“We gotta catch her before she leaves the casino with my money!”I scream at Howey avatar. I swear he turns his head and looks right at me, like, you catch her! She sounds like an evil with a capital B!
“Later, sucker!”
We head over to the Craps tables. Nope.
“Later, sucker!”
Pai Gow? Nope.
“Later, sucker!”
Blackjack? Nope.
“Where the heck is she?” I scream at my burly avatar with the cop hair!
He does look at me! He looks back toward the slots with fear in his eyes!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! The slots! Of course! She's just as greedy as I am!
I move my Howey to the slots. I search every machine from $1 to $100!
There she is! That conniving thief of a... avatar! “Let's get 'er!” I whisper to Howey Avatar. He looks at me, one eyebrow raised, “Her?” He looks back at her.
He nods his head.
Several times.
Likes what he sees, I guess.
“You take her; I'll take my money!”
He's still nodding his head.
Good, he agrees.
He struts over to her, running his fingers through his cop hair!
He smiles really sexy.
He places a hand on top of the slot and leans.
She turns her evil dark eyes to him and... they flash!
Hearts!
She's in love!
He's in love!
He grabs her hand and they take off at a run!
“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!” I scream at the stupid monitor! “STOP! THIEVES!” I yell.
I follow them with my eyes. I click on different sections watching, searching, trying to find a way to stop them!
There they are! I try to gain control of him again, but he's too fast!
“No! Don't go there! Please!”
They're headed for the Chapel! The Elvis Chapel!
They run through the door, holding hands.
Her clothes change to a wedding dress as she passes the flowery arch! She looks so beautiful!
He's now wearing a tux!
He looks so handsome!
I try to follow!
I click on the Chapel entrance.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!” I cry again.
I'm not invited to the wedding.
I shake my head. The Chapel is not one of the places that lights up on this game. I knew I couldn't go there!
“Congratulations!” I sigh. I want to cry, but not joyful tears!
They've been in there forever, so they probably went out the back. “Enjoy my wedding present.”
I close the game.
I never want to play that stupid game again.
But, eventually, I do. One thing about those slots: it doesn't take long to get back up to $47 mil! HeeHee.
