'Oh I cannot sleep and feel overwhelmed and confused'  thought the woman that had tossed and turned in bed for over an hour. She finally got out of bed and went to get on the computer. She had planned on writing her pastor who was her age a long letter about her woes. She wrote the letter and then she erased it. There was no use in writing him another letter she had sent so many and was quite upset because he never emailed her back. Although one night at church he acknowledged her in front of the few that were there thanking her for the encouraging emails and her eyes got big and he knew he had put her on the spot so he talked about someone else quickly that had done the same.  The acknowledgement was sweet but it seemed nothing seemed to cheer her up these days.

   She was very worried because she couldn't find a job and her current job was giving her almost no hours at all. She had went seeking help and her home church helped her a bit but she still needed more help with another bill and had sought out a different church and these people had reacted quite hatefully toward her and she left in tears with nothing more than a thirty dollar check. She was feeling even more depressed as the day ended.

   She got into the car with the little old lady that was taking her around and the little old lady didn't know what to say to her. The little old lady complained later and so did she but what little it actually accomplished she didn't know and felt it hadn't accomplished anything.

   She wanted God to move in her life like he had done before and it didn't seem like anything was happening! She had went to church on Sunday and the pastor told a funny little story about someone being lonely and he made a big joke out of it and she had to laugh and then she had tears in her eyes but did not dare wipe them away and the pastor seemed to have tears in his as well.

   He ended the service praying right in front of her direction and it seemed as if he was praying for her because the things he was saying were very personal and she could feel the presence of God. She forgot what he had prayed exactly or maybe she just wasn't focusing enough, who knows. She did appreciate his kindness and wished they could talk. He hadn't called her in a very long time and he even joked about it during his funny joke at the service.

   She just knew that she had to trust God even though she could not sleep and had problems functioning even doing the most simple of things around the house.  She had problems cleaning up. She had problems sleeping, she was just too stressed out to exist. She needed God.

   She decided to give it another go and try to get some rest. Surely God would speak to her tonite she wished and prayed. God she prayed as she laid her head down to sleep in her messy room, please help me Lord, please help me to sleep, please help me to do the things I need to do. She then remembered that although the simple acts of kindness her pastor had bestowed on her were simple and small they were aimed at her and for that she needed to thank God and count her small blessings so that God could bless her with some big blessings as well.