In Part 1 of her five-part series “Building A
Career From Your Heart,” Carol James, founder of
Inspired Living
talks about her father and how seeing what happened
to him made her determined to do the work she loved.
She mentions in her newsletter that one of the
reasons people don’t do the work they love is some-
times the culture they’re brought up in. Another
reason is our educational system that certainly
does not offer many opportunities for us to dis-
cover our “true calling.”
The greatest reason, I believe, however, is because
of our parents and family members. That was
certainly the reason in my case. Perhaps it is the
same in your case if you’re still not doing the
work you love.
I always knew what kind of work I wanted to do, but
I didn’t get the support from my parents. Through-
out my life I have met different people who said
the opposite! They had a supportive family but
didn’t know what they wanted to do!
Reading about Ms. James’ father made me think about
my own. My father’s dream was to be a political
attorney, but he lacked the education. His goal
then became to fulfill that dream through me.
The first hurdle, however, was I had no interest in
politics. The second hurdle was that the very
thought of becoming an attorney intimidated the
living daylights out of me. When I was a little
girl, I thought attorneys were the most intelligent
people on the planet. When I saw them on TV or in
the movies, they were always in a courtroom. I
don’t remember ever seeing them preparing for their
cases. Therefore, when I would see attorneys in
courtrooms, I thought they were hearing everything
for the first time and were so brilliant that they
knew exactly what to say and what questions to ask!
Silly I know, but I was just a kid! :-)
So, when my Dad suggested that I become an attorney,
I said, “No way!” because I knew I could never
think on my feet the way they did do magnificently!
Of course, after becoming a legal secretary, I saw
firsthand how much hard work and preparation the
attorneys go through. I now realize that I could
have been one if I had known then what I know now!
But I am convinced that being an attorney was not
the path for me. My love for writing was too great.
If I had gone to law school, perhaps I would be the
female equivalent of John Grisham!
However, as a result of my refusal to become an
attorney, my father refused to provide any financial
support for college. Things were so hard that first
year for me that I dropped out at the end of the
first year. That was a decision I regretted many
times as I moved from one dead-end job to another.
I was so angry with my Dad that I moved over 2,000
miles away from home and refused to speak to him
for 7 years despite his persistence to have a
relationship with me. I wrote letters to him
telling him how angry I was with him for not
supporting me. I told him in the letters that he
should have lived his own dream instead of trying
to force his on me. I told him if he had lacked
the education, then he should have found a way to
get it somehow.
When I found out that his prostate cancer had
returned, friends convinced me that I would be
sorry if I didn’t make up with him before he died,
and I decided to call him. I could tell that my
letters had had an impact on him. Even though he
never came out and said, “I’m sorry,” I could hear
the sorrow in his voice.
I went back to Tennessee in May of 1996 and had a
wonderful hear-to-heart talk with my Dad. I truly
forgave him from my heart. I felt that he finally
stopped opposing my writing ambition and was truly
on my side. Six months later, he was dead. After
he passed away, my mother told me that he had
enrolled in school, but had been too sick to attend.
I can only hope that he was going to finally live
his dream.
Parents, don’t try to live your dreams through your
children. Live your own dreams!
Copyright 2002 Dolores G. Wix
