I knew about Alzheimer's disease for a long time, but I was not familiar with dementia, until I was hospitalized in 2005. Alzheimer's and dementia are similar, so it is best to get the dictionary definition, which are as follows.

* Alzheimer's disease: (definition) a progressing form of presenile dementia that is similar to senile dememtia, except that it usually starts in the 40's or 50's; first symtoms are impared memory, which is followed by impaired thought and speech and finally complete helplessness.

* Dementia: (definition) deterioration of intellectual faculties, such as memory, concentration, and judgment...sometimes personality changes. Dementia is caused by organic damage to the brain (as in Alzheimer's disease), head trauma, metabolic disorders; or the presence of a tumor.

As you can see, the two are similar, and that's why I chose to get the definitions. Manuel was a patient in the same ward where I was, and his stay was temporary, until they placed him in a permanent institution. Not knowing anything about dementia, one of the nurses, told me that Manuel was 48 years old, and had the mind of a three year old! This turned out to be a blessing for me, because I saw for myself, what this horrible disease can do to a person. The nurse did not elaborate any further.  

It is so awful, that so many people have been dealt such a cruel hand in life...and even in death...for this would be such a cruel way to die! Alone in the dark...recognizing nobody... For Manuel...he spent most of his day, sitting in a lounge chair, which was placed in front of the nurse's station, so he could be watched all day. He was hand-fed; he was dressed and bathed, and on occasion, he would be taken out on the patio to get a little sunshine and fresh air!

Manuel would spend some of his day screaming and crying, at the top of his lungs, and having his temper-tantrums, just like a child would do. All of us were annoyed by it, but we all understood...at least we all tried to understand what Manuel was going through! We would all hate to be in Manuel's shoes!

Everyday, I would walk by the nurse's station, and everyday, Manuel would look at me, with that awful "blank look" he had about him. He looked like he was in a daze all the time! It was so sad...to see another human being live like this! Manuel would live the rest of his life in an institution...a sad, sad story!

"If you want to keep others happy...practice compassion.  If you want to be happy...practice compassion."  Dalai Lama

In the early 1060's, my grandmother probably died from Alzheimer's disease, but scientists probably didn't know, at that time what it was. She would go to the store, and couldn't find her way back! There were times, when she was found in another neighborhood or near the railroad tracks and she was brought back home by the police. She was put in a mental institution, where she died!

In the year 2006, I'm 61 years young, and I had always thought that these mental illnesses struck old people, but as you can see from the Manuel story...young people are stricken as well.

There was a story recently on the network news (12/18/06) about a young woman in her fifties, who was having similar problems, in remembering things like the age of her kids! The story focused on boomers, who are now getting older, and they are caught in the "gray area" meaning they are not old enough to qualify for Medicare or Medicaid. They have to have insurance or pay for treatment themselves, etc.

There's nothing that frightens me more than old age! And recently, I've been forgetful and it worries me! I'll share a few of those incidents with you.

* One day, I paid for the gas for my car...and I forgot to put the gas in the car and just drove off. Realizing what I did, I quickly make a u-turn and went back and got the gas I paid for.

* Have you ever left something burning on the stove? I boiled some eggs, and went about doing something else around the house and forgot about the eggs! That is, until I heard a loud "POP" coming from the kitchen! PANIC! I quickly remembered the boiled eggs, and came into the kitchen where I saw egg shells all over the floor, where the egg had exploded!

* After work, I would usually stop by my mailbox at the apartments and get my mail. On this day...I did the same thing...only instead of getting back in the car and driving the short distance back to my apartment, I WALKED HOME...leaving the car BEHIND running until it ran out of gas! A couple of hours later, I remembered what I did, and went out and got the car! "Am I losing my mind?" I thought to myself! Thank goodness, these incidents have been few and isolated, but I still worry about my mental capabilities...or if I'm now running on empty myself!

"Make no judgements if you have no compassion."  Anne MacCaffrey

Leaving politics aside, I think one of our great Presidents was Ronald Reagan, who lead the way to end the dangerous Cold War, in which all of us could have been killed! When most people are retired at the age of 70, he was elected President, and governed for eight years! That's amazing in itself!

We all know how this sad story ended and, he too, was inflicted with Alzheimer's disease, and he must have lived a horrible life afterward!

Remembering Manuel...I'll always try to remember him. And, I do this, by having the name of this story and a short summary (in nice lettering) framed on my wall in my home office. There isn't a day, that I don't glance at the framed story...as a reminder to me...as to how awful my life could be!

"Love and compassion are necessities...not luxeries.  Without them, humanity cannot survive."  Dalai Lama

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