For our friends and neighbors around the world, who may not be familiar with the term, I will describe the phrase for them; red tape;

FROM; When we were kids.com; 
meaning; (red tape);  'Red tape' is a derisive term for excessive regulation or rigid conformity to formal rules, that it, considered redundant or buraeucratic and hindors or prevents action or decision-making.  It is usually applied to government, but can also be applied to organizations like corporations, etc. 

Origin:  The origin's of the terms are somewhat obscure, but it is first noted in historical records in the 16th century, when Henry VIII beseighed Pope Clement VII with around eighty or so petitions for the annulment of his marriage with Catherine of Aragon. 

The pile of documents, can be viewed, in all their glory, rolled and stacked in original condition, each one sealed and bound with the obligatory red tape, as was the custom at that time. 

All American Civil War veteran's records were bound in red tape, and the difficulty in accessing them, led to the current use of the term, but there is evidence, that the term was in use in its modern sense, sometime before this. 

SOB STORY FOLLOWS;

It all started in 2006, with the implantation of a defibrillator device that is screwed into the heart to prevent, or help the patient survive a heart attack.  The life of the battery in the device, is about six years, so in 2012, my battery was going to have to be changed by surgery.  The device was implanted by the surgeons at the local VA Medical Center. 

In 2007, I left the VA for the private sector, and more than anything else, I wanted to have the device removed.  In may 2012, I suffered a stroke, and I was in the hospital for over a month.  From day one after my release from the hospital, I thought the device had something to do with causing the stroke...a blood clot of some sort.  All the doctor's I talked to disagreed with me. 

But, all along, I feared blood contamination from the metal and plastic.  My doctors told me the threat was lower than one percent.  But, the threat was still there.  I asked my cardiologist back in Janury, 2012, that since 2012 was the year to do surgery and change the battery, that I wanted the divice out.  After the stroke in May, as I came face to face with death, I wanted the device OUT more than ever!

I was told by my doctors, that I would have to get all the documentation from the VA and Presbyterian Health...the beginning, the middle and the future, as to how all this happened at that time.  At the time of my release from the hospital, I didn't know if my brain had been fried...you know...the cognative and mental aspects of the stroke, so I didn't know if I could write a lengthy letter to cardiologists to get the information require, etc. 

I found out by trial and error during this time, that I could, and Dr. Downey (my cargiologist) called me in the middle of August, 2012, and told me that everything was ready to go for the surgery to remove the device.  I couldn't be happier...When Dr. Downey explained how it must look in there where the device is situated...all the tissue growth on the wries/leads and all around the device itself, I thought this is the perfect place for a blood clot to happen!  So, I wanted the device OUT and fast...

During those several months that I had to wait, there was the usural RED TAPE of one meeting with someone or somebody else,  The surgery to remove the device was set at January, 8, 2013...and, I couldn't wait, because, if I had another stroke, it could be fatal, or leave me disabled in a wheelchair. 

During all of my sixties, I had never given thought to getting a will filled out.  But, when I came face to face with death, I decided to look into it.  My visit with my primary doctor, was not until February, 2013, so I decided to buy one of those will kits at Office Depot and go from there.  Something could happen to me during or after surgery, and I wanted to be prepared for the worst scenario. 

When I opened the will packett, I just screamed...MORE RED TAPE!  I was appalled...I was going to have THREE WITNESSES and get the damn thing notorized!  I talked to my primary about it, and she told me that the medical forms were about the same. 

On February 18 2013, I turned 68 years of age, and I've spent a lifetime of tolertating RED TAPE.  And, now in the sunset years of my life, I have more RED TAPE to contend with!  This is probably all to make money!  I remember a few years ago, you could get a document notorized for free at the local bank.  But, those days are gone forever, as there is a charge for everything, today.

I don't have three witnesses in my life.  The more people you have in your life, the more problems you have.  Today, people are selfish, and have too many skeletons in their closets, etc.  The less people around, the better.  So, this has been my lifestyle for many years. 

But, as I left the credit union that day, in which we didn't get anything done, because of RED TAPE, I knew I would NOT be back with the document.  I decided to do it my way, and list my wishes and sign the document, with no witnesses and I would be the Notary.  A person can't even die, without RED TAPE!  So, I put the document in my folder at home, and I told the people of RED TAPE, as the Irish say...kiss my ARCE! 

As my Empire is dIvided and reduced to ashes...the beneficaries in my Will...will probably take everything back to the stores to get a refund, etc.  SCREAM...

All of you, can kiss my ARCE...I'm out of here...I'm just wondering if there is a bunch of RED Tape when I reach the gates of heaven...SCREAM...

TSA will probably be there at the Gates of Heaven...checking bags with their little x-ray machines, etc.

When it comes to RED TAPE in heaven...St. Peter can kiss my ARCE, too! 

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