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Shervin Hojat, Ph.D.

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Member Since: Jul, 2009

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Taking Responsibility
by Shervin Hojat, Ph.D.   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
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The good news is that your situation can change for the better. The bad news is that is not by changing other people or blaming them.

 Are you really pissed off at somebody and cannot let it go? Do you keep running into people who let you down, irritate you and are not caring? Do you want this to change?

The good news is that your situation can change for the better. The bad news is that is not by changing other people or blaming them. Usually people show up in our lives and irritate us to show something about us that needs our attention. Consider such situations as you are looking into a mirror: the other person that is irritating you is telling you something about you!

I know some things may be very difficult to acknowledge and own. Start with small things and be curious and ask yourself why they have shown up in your life.

Mirror of You and Me

I created my own reality.

I created my own hell.

I take responsibility for what I have created.

I see contradictions clearly in the mirror of you and me.

I let myself down and I blamed you for it.

I expected you to love me unconditionally while I did not love myself unconditionally.

I was not emotionally open while I expected you to be emotionally open.

I expected nice complements from you while I did not complement myself.

I expected you to be honest while I was not honest about my own needs.

I expected you to be positive while I was not positive myself.

I did not like the reflection of me in the mirror and I tried to change the reflection (you).

I expected validation from you while I did not validate myself.

I expected your empathy for my emotions while I did not express empathy for my own emotions.

I did not feel good about myself and I expected you to feel good about me.

I expected you to be responsible for my emotions while I did not take responsibility for my own.

I expected you to love me for who I am while I did not love myself for who I am.

I wanted to be right about my beliefs while I expected you to be flexible about yours.

I was upset with your criticism while I constantly criticized myself with self-talk.

I gave my power away and I was upset that you control me.

I expected encouragement from you while I did not encourage myself.

I feared vulnerability of love so I attracted you with the same fear.

I was upset at you while in reality I was upset at myself.

I could not forgive you because I could not forgive myself.

I take responsibility for my reality
so that I can change what I have created.

Copyright .2014 by Shervin Hojat

Web Site: Tend To Your Garden Within


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Reviewed by E Phillips
Reviewed on January 19, 2015
There is much wisdom in your words. But just as it is misdirected energy to cast all personal issues onto others, it is also an oversimplification to put them all on self. It is an imperfect world with many barriers erected by others, many who seek gain at our expense. Taking responsibility for external injustices does not level the playing field, nor does it rid you of their effects. But I like your positive approach.

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