Two weeks ago, I was inspired to share some of my recent poetry. I signed up as a speaker for my toastmaster group. I was looking forward to the meeting on that Friday.
On Wednesday afternoon I noticed several missed calls on my phone. I called back the number. It was from a person in my toastmaster. She asked me if I could forfeit my speaking position for two reasons:
1- She has a speech about Halloween that was very long and required two time slots.
2. She did not want her toastmaster friend to worry about another speaker.
Out of my past habit, I immediately said yes!
After hanging up the phone, I felt very sad about my decision. I was upset at myself and was also resentful.
I realized I did not had to say yes.
I asked myself, why did I give my spot to someone else while I was excited about my speech?
I realized this was my old habit had kicked in and sabotaged what I wanted to do. I realized I needed to be more aware of my old tendency.
You may sometimes say “Yes” to others instead of saying "Yes" to yourself.
How do we get out of such situations?
- Do not commit right away.
- Ask yourself, "Am I saying yes because of inner fear of avoiding external conflict?"
- Focus on what you love to do, when you cannot decide.
I have realized the things I love to do brings me joy and tasks that I feel I have to do sometimes brings me resentment - if it stops me from doing what I love to do.
Being a "nice person" and at the same time being resentful about it is self-defeating. It is more meaningful being nice to yourself and allowing your joy flow to others instead.
Something to ponder:
Are you committed to do what you love at expense of saying NO to others?
Copyright .2019 by Shervin Hojat
For example: an author recently contacted me by email, complimented me on my voice, and asked me to do an audible book of his short novel. I responded by asking how much he was willing to pay me for that service, how difficult it was for me to read out loud for very long without having to make pauses to catch my breath and clear my throat and how I had little time to read his book in book form, because it's very difficult for me to hold the pages open and read at the same time.
He hasn't responded in three days. I think I told him, no.
Ron
as always, I enjoy your work
Never stop writing
m