There are going to be diffcult times in all relationships, disagreements will arise. But when you have mutual respect for one another you learn to fight fair. You listen to what the other person has to say without rebuttal or arguing. There is an art to truly listening to what someone is saying to you. If you can do this , you have a better chance of working through your problems. Remember ego always wants to have the last word. Is it really necessary to have the last word. Criticism is a bad word if it is not used  in the right context. I believe a person who constantly criticizes you is insecure themselves.

When we fall in love we become vulnerable to being hurt. Strange as it may seem everytime we fall in love, love brings up everything unlike it's self. This means that everything in us that is unloving and fearful must come from within us to the surface to be dealt with.  in  many  relationships there is constant mirrioring going on between the two people that they are usually unaware of. So instead of blaming the other person  all of the time. Check out the man in the mirrior. Take responsibiliy for your own stuff.                                                                                                                                                 A help mate means just that . Help each other deal with the issues of love and commintment. Life is tough enough without all the extra drama when you get home. Make your home that safe heaven where we retreat to find peace  and renew our energies for the next day.

No one is perfect , including you. Have you checked out the perfect want adds lately in the Sunday newspaper.  Perfect person wanted, for the perfect job, with the perfect salary and with the perfect hours.Try and stop rehearsing all the diffculity in the relationship and began to see the other person in a different light. Is it so hard to see the other persons point of view? Do you have a need to be right all the time? Don't take life so seriously.

This is the show stopper. Ladies! Stop gossiping about your relationship with outsiders. They only mess things up with their negative suggestions and make a  challenging situtation worse.. The problem is between you and your mate . Not the whole neighborhood. If you must talk to someone, try seeing a spiritul person from the church. You might want to see a professional counselor, or talk with the elders of the family.But leave your best friends out of it.

Black people must stop buying into the old lies that black relationships don't work.They do work and can work.. Peter McPherson, and Isabella McPherson were married seventy five years , until death took them both. They had fourteen children and loved each other tremendously. Their motto was. They believed that living was giving. They served each other year after year. they loved each other unconditionally . I saw it happen with my own eyes.They were my grandparents.

I believe prayer changes things, most of all prayer changes you.Our families must find a common time of prayer  and ritual togehter. Some of our familes are suffering from spiritual malnutrition. Until we see a vision of greatness in each family member we will fall short of the real answeres to the black families struggle with harmony and continunity.

Men treat your women like black queens. A women birthed you into the world.Treat all women with respect. they are your mothers, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, and daughters.Women treat your man like the black king that he is. Support his efforts however large or small. Pray for his success, and he will be successful. The old saying , behind every successful man is a women. this is always true . A black man was your father,He is your brother, son, uncle, grandfather. Black people stand up . Be counted. Stop letting this society dictate your out come. Our present day society can no loner shape our black relationships, predict our childrens futuer , and ruin our communities with drugs imported through their drug cortells. We can do it.                                                                                                                                                                                The truth is  no one belongs to another. We all belong to God. But while we walk this earth together as friends, families, husbands, wives, lovers, soul-mates, and spiritual companions let's do it with love and genuine respect for  ourselves and each other. Begin today to see yourself in every person you meet. think of yourself as a powerful  spiritual being.We are no less than the moon and the stars. We have a right to be here like everyone else.  My people rise up. Do not fall for the conspiracy that was laid out for us hundreds of years ago durning salvery that  we cannot have strong black relatonships.  You will be sacrificing this present day generation with the ultimate lie. Instill in your children the truth that they can be anything they want to be in this society, powerful leaders, doctors, lawyers, including president of the United States of America. We can do it.