Earlier today, my attention was diverted
to some old astrology books that had been
purchased from USA ..... and in one of
them, was a short typewritten story by
Douglas Welch, obviously intended for
his regular column, "Squirrel Cage" ....

..... for a liitle more detail, about Douglas Welch, go to:

http://www.historylink.org/_output.CFM?file_ID=1457

"Squirrel Cage" by Douglas Welch

A good day to you all and particularly to
the persons whose navels are off-centre,
because i sympathize with them.

I don't like to bother you with my
personal problems, but my navel has
been giving me problems again.

I checked in the full-length bathroom
mirror last night and it is off-centre
again.

The fact that MOST persons' navels are
off-centre doesn't console me much. It
bothers me to be walking down the street,
pointed in one direction, while my
navel is pointed in another.

You see, I was taking this exercise to
get it lined up and for a while, it was
perfect ..... and then, i guess i just
got careless.

When you have a wandering navel, you've
got to watch it every minute.

You remember, I told you in this column
some time ago, how I made the dreadful
discovery that my navel was off-centre.

I read where this doctor said everyone's
navel was off-centre at one time or
another and that the majority of persons'
navels were off-centre all the time.
Well, I checked mine and found it was all
too, frightfully true .

I went to the hardware store and asked
for a plumber's bob or whatever they call
it - a weight on the end of a string and
the clerk said: "What do you want it for ...?
Going to do a little building around the
place?" And I said: "No, I want to hang
it down from my nose and check in the
mirror, whether my navel is off-centre."

And he said:" Well, it serves me right,
I shouldn't have asked you." And I said:
"It's the truth." And he said:
"Now, I have heard everything."

So then for weeks, months actually, I did
this exercise, where you go "ummmph!" and
throw your navel to the side you want it.

Like, I would be talking to some lady at
a cocktail party and she would be telling
me about some dull thing that happened to
her and i would go "ummmph !" and throw
my navel over and she would say:
"What's going on?" And I would say:
"Well, my navel is off-centre and I believe,
if I contract the muscles on one side and
pull it over, then maybe I can retrain it."

And she would walk away saying "Sheesh!"
or "What a kook !" or "Gee, with these
new tranquilizing drugs, they let them
out early now, don't they?"

And then Green Eyes would come to the
rescue and she would say:

"Everybody's navel is off-centre a
little. It is just that may husband is
so tidy. He is a perfectionist."
The funny (side) of this is, pretty
nearly everbody in the neighbourhood
began checking their navels and some
were shocked to find theirs was off a
good two inches from the centre line.

============

Good humour never dies .....

have a great day

yogi