What I saw before my very eyes sent a shiver up my spine and leaves me shaking in my boots!

As I watched what I assumed to be the first network airing of The Cast Away, with Tom Hanks, I settled myself down to yet another dull Robinson Crusoe melodrama, with hopes that maybe some of the Nazis from Saving Private Ryan may have washed up on the same island. What I saw before my very eyes sent a shiver up my spine and leaves me shaking in my boots!

Several months ago while on safari in deepest darkest Africa, my colleagues and I were sailing up the Congo in motorized dugout canoes similar to ones used by actual natives of the area yet far more expensive to rent. As our Cruise Director announced we would soon be stopping for brunch I spied something floating in the water. My instincts grabbed hold of me and I immediately started a game of, “I spy something floating in the water”. I smiled a broad pompous grin as none of my party shouted the correct response.
We soon came up on the object and I directed a porter to retrieve it from the water. He reached over the side and snagged the object as we sped by. When he brought it into the boat all of the other porters screamed “Ju Ju!” and jumped over the side. He did as well as he threw the item into the air.
We continued to sail forward and the object fell into my lap as it came down. I was completely taken by surprise. I thought it was probably some sort of floating mine or something but apparently it was an evil trinket capable of placing a curse on those around it. Our little boat was already overloaded but since so many had suddenly departed I found there to be ample room in my backpack for the object which I took for a souvenir.

As I watched the Tom Hanks flick something became apparent to me…
I had found WILSON!

I leaped to my fireplace and there he was perched on the mantle above it. The very same volleyball that had been his companion for so long was now the companion I had come to know and love. Somehow, Edgar, whom I named him, had miraculously drifted across the Pacific Ocean, through the Panama Canal, across the Atlantic, and up the Congo. That was quite an expedition. It’s a good thing he was a volleyball and not a soccer ball or he never would have made it past the Latin American countries.

As I saw the love the man in the movie had for Edgar, and how it devastated him when he was lost forever, I knew I had to return him. It would bring purpose to my miserable life, and joy to my heart to unite Tom Hanks to his beloved volleyball. The possibility of becoming rich and famous had nothing to do with it, although it appears to now. I thumbed through the Hollywood and Beverly Hills phone books for his number without success. As I churned my brain for other options I was saddened by another possibility…
Maybe by now…he has found another volleyball?
By George