In my BIG BOOK OF LITTLE KNOWN FACTS this phrase is featured…

“Yes, father I chopped down your cherry tree!”

Professor Penwose has put those infamous historical words under the microscope and found it not so much a lesson in honesty as diplomacy.

History failed to record how young George Washington avoided
a beating with the use of finesse. The well-known admission of guilt was followed by these words, “I want to build you the finest two-seater outhouse in Virginia, made with the woods from our own trees!”

Naturally his father was pleasantly embarrassed and quickly chilled. He bestowed the lad with praises and proclaimed his honesty throughout the colonies.

As it turned out Young George would have done better to just take his punishment, as the consequential hardships of his self-imposed task were far greater. By the time he finished it was time to join the Redcoat Army and fight the French. The rest is history.

We see this as one of America’s first lessons in diplomacy and dignitaries even today still realize that discretion, either honest or devious, is better off left to those who are able to insure that ramifications are absorbed by someone else.

Professor Penwose prefers to examine from all angles and says that if George would have just confessed he probably would have gotten a beating or possibly put on restriction or an early form of “time out”. In either case history would have still been pretty much the same.

If he lied however, things would have been quite different.

His father would have been left searching for the culprit. It could not have been an Indian, for the hatchet leaves different marks than a tomahawk. It could not have been the French for they did nothing themselves.

The only others left were The British. Undoubtedly he would have rushed to town and accused them. Naturally they would have denied it. Words would have been exchanged. Tempers would have flared. One thing would have led to another and consequently The Revolution would have started earlier than it did and we probably would have lost.

Washington would have still been a young lad, inexperienced and left out of the war and history. The best he could have hoped for possibly might have been a lowly position in the War of 1812 which would have been fought around 1802, and then again, only if we would have won the Revolution and that is doubtful.

People today would be left wondering why so many things are named Washington?

So it is best to be honest, avoid diplomacy, and history will take care of itself.

Penwose Out!
By George