George Elkin Albitz Loses Robert Benchley Society Award for Humor

In a previously unprecedented total lack of adoration George E. Albitz has lost the prestigious Robert Benchley Award on his very first attempt, in record time.

The winners are usually notified in the summer months when judges can decide fairly on a topless beach while basking in the sun with a mint julep, however George’s entry was chosen as a loser far before the deadline for entries was even achieved.

In a blatant reversal of love at first sight the entry of George E. Albitz was crumpled and tossed into the fires that rage from the can that serves to char beefy franks for the societies festive banquets. Never before had such a worthless piece of drivel been viewed by the panel of judges who chose to remain anonymous including the renowned Dave Barry who/whom has already disavowed knowledge of George’s existence, and Horace Digby the dignified winner of past events and author of the infamous Sand Bagger Magazine.

For the sake of fairness and privacy the entries are judged blindly however in this instance someone must have peeked.

Mr. Albitz was unavailable for comment but did say he was honored to be chosen as “First Loser” and looks forward to losing again next year, “If I can think of something funny?” He pointed out that, like himself, Robert Benchley had never won the award.