MILLION DOLLAR GOLD BATHTUB STOLEN FROM JAPAN HOTEL

Hinkly Dinkly Reporting
With news of next to godliness ramifications

TOKYO - A glittering bathtub made of gold worth nearly $1 million has been stolen from a resort hotel.

A worker at Kominato Hotel Mikazuki in Kamogawa, (easy for them to say) south of Tokyo, notified police that the fancy tub was missing from the hotel's guest bathroom on the 10th floor, according to a local police official who only gave his surname, Ogawa.

The round tub, worth $987,000, is made of 18-karat gold and weighs 176 pounds.

“Someone apparently cut the chain attached to the door of a small section of the bathroom where the bathtub was placed and made off with the tub”, Ogawa said.

"We have no witness information and there are no video cameras," he said. "We have no idea who took it."

Fortunately this reporter was in the vicinity questioning folks about atom bombs and monitoring radiation levels.

My attention quickly shifted to the stolen tub as a kimono commotion ensued.

Flashing a fake constable’s card allowed me to penetrate security lines and I noticed a flyer on a wall with a photo of the missing tub. I immediately realized it must have been for midgets.

I ventured to the crime scene and sure enough the tub was gone. I also notice there was no plumbing, which created questions of fulfillment.

Strangely no towels were missing?

Several little bottles of Sake were empty beside the bed.

The entire scene had an air of intrigue, which intrigued me.

I questioned the bellman at the front door and he stated a huge female Sumo wrestler tried to exit the building, just moments before, but had to use the freight doors because of something she concealed under her trenchcoat.

A greenhorn tenderfoot rookie may have jumped on this bit of information but I immediately realized she was not the culprit. She was much too big for the tub.

Tokyo police are frantically trying to find the tub before the thieves come clean and their trail vanishes. Some fear this may be the work of a Serial Tub Thief. They caution hotels throughout the world to increase bathtub security.

Hinkly Out!
By George