The Guillotine could be avoided.

Professor Ambrose Penwose on History

Good Evening,
An Interesting hysterical (My term for historical) fact has come to my attention. I recently found during my research, which I never do, an interesting previously unknown fact. I know what you are thinking, if it was previously unknown how do I know it? I don’t know?
In order to cheat Madame Guillotine for another day, a sly French nobleman would make sure he was “away” when his name was called. The citizens would merely go to the next person on their list and he was saved for the day.
The scene went something like this, Reader of the Lopping List, “The former Marquee de Latrine.”
Voice in crowd, “He went to the bathroom.”
The next man was called.
This happened time and time again and they were sure he would dehydrate. But he didn’t. He did it so many times in fact they actually named the bathroom after him during his final demise, which may have been due to constipation.
“Have no fear, Latrine,” said one of his fellow fellows as he was dragged through the door gouging deep scratches into the wood, “Madame Guillotine will knock the _________out of Ya!”
He went away yelling and screaming and cursing his laughing comrades never knowing of the honor they had bestowed upon him with the name that would forever shine over a bathroom door.
That My Dear readers, is a fact!
Penwose Out,
Bye George