A good shine has always been a symbol of distinction but why proclaim its influence?

Professor Ambrose Penwose, Suffix forthcoming

Good Evening,

For those of you not reading this I suppose the matter is moot. Those of you who are reading may want to click “mute?” Either way moot or mute I don’t give a hoot.

It comes to mind after seeing various postings, memos, and graffitied walls about town, that Doctor Fwad has added a suffix to his name.
I must say, “How presumptuous can you get, Swigmon?”

For years both of our minds together could not reason why fellows of stature would want to freely advertise such a thing in their title? A good shine has always been a symbol of distinction but why proclaim its influence? It is not unlike suffixing Raid to show you have no bugs.

Swigmon, or should I say, Doctor Fwad, Kiwi, convinced me that although we see no logical reasoning for it the Esq. suffix is a symbol of stature and we should abide by it. Therefore, not to be outdone, and in a pretense of good taste and grace I shall go along with the presumption and extend my title as well.

Esquire is generally seen as the preferred choice in this matter, however Doctor Fwad and myself have always used the same Shoe Shine Boy who prefers a different brand. We will go with his choice.

In the absence of malice and without further adieu I would like to announce that from this day forward I will be known as…
Professor Ambrose Penwose, Kiwi…(don’t ask me why?)

We have talked with Hinkly Dinkly on the subject who may be leaning this way and The Wino, who merely burped, and George who seldom wears shoes. We see little chance of them concurring and acknowledge they would have to climb infinite rungs up the social ladder to even qualify.

Penwose Out,
Bye George
NoPo8