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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

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Remember good comfort and stability starts in the mind.

23 JUL 2018
THE SECRET OF WEALTH

Professor Ambrose Penwose, Kiwi

Good evening,

Previously I wrote of a topic I am about to write on now, however my manuscript seems to have vanished and my powers of reminiscence is far from recollectable. I seem to have forgotten to remember. I’ll have to wing it.
Financial security for some of us is a fragility and even a luxury we enjoy on a daily basis as we sit and watch our monies grow. For others the reverse is just the opposite, and vice versa.

The foundation of a good financial structure is a strong foot into savings, which need not be begun years before as falsely and deceitfully reported by high price low life advisors.
I will tell you how to quickly build your savings to Happy Heights.

Yesterday a gentleman on the tele told us we can save hundreds of dollars if we rush to his car lot.
Another said we can save hundreds on an insurance policy.
Yet another said we could save substantially on a coffin, which I’m not about to get into until I’m ready to do so.
There was even a guy who said we could save on a frying pan and even get two if we waited and acted quickly, which is actually a scam. I found out the hard way you never get the second frying pan. Think about it, you cannot act quickly if you wait.

I got news for ya! I saved a bundle yesterday.
First the guy who said I could save hundreds if I bought a car.
I did NOT buy a car and saved thousands!
I also saved thousands by not buying an insurance policy, a coffin, or a frying pan.
All in all yesterday I saved $25,492.53…and I didn’t do a thing.

Do you need quick savings?
Don’t buy a house!
Do you need big quick savings?
Don’t buy a big house.

Whenever you need savings, don’t buy something.
The larger the commodity you don’t buy the larger your savings will be. That is a fact!

Remember good comfort and stability starts in the mind.

Tell ya what I’ll do…
Today Only Special. This article is on sale for $25.00.

Don’t buy it.

See there, you just saved 25 quid!

No need to thank me.

Penwose Out,
Bye George
NoPo8

Web Site: Encephalon Epitaph


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Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on July 24, 2018
A good friend once proclaimed, "My wife saved us $5000 last year. She spent only $35,000 doing it." That's why I don't have a wife. And don't have any one to blame for saving money by spending.

A worst scenario are those who claim that they won a jackpot on a slot machine for say, $1500. They never say that they spent $3500 dropping coins into that one one arm bandit before getting that jackpot.

I am running a race. Who will win, me or my money. I would sure hate to run out of funds before I die and be put in a poorhouse. Worse yet, spend my last days in a debtors' prison!

And that's the truth… Bye George!

Ron

Reviewed by Eva Pasco
Reviewed on July 24, 2018
Oftentimes we're saving money we didn't have to begin with. It's semantics.

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