This time The Judge rose when they left the courtroom but for different reasons.

30 JUL 2018
Professor Penwose, Kiwi

DIVORCE NEED NOT BE PLEASANT…

Good Evening,

Always thought of a dish best served cold, temperatures tend to rise considerably while consummating.

I remember my own parent’s day in court as though it were yesterday.
They were both eloquent and dashing and when they entered the courtroom, The Judge rose.

They had each filed separately charging the other with Mental Anguish, Unrecognizable Differences, Assault Without Batteries, and Behavior Unbecoming A British Gentleman or Lady.

Me Mum said she could not testify against her husband, therefore he should not testify against her. Both refused to testify on grounds they may incriminate themselves, so the case would have to be settled by their high-priced sleazy barristers.

Me Mums attorney had photos taken by a detective showing Father dining with “Another Woman,” who turned out to be his sister.
Father’s lawyer had similar photos of Me Mum dining with, “Another Man,” which turned out to be himself wearing a different shirt.

The courtroom banter went back and forth with snide remarks coming from both sides. At one point Me Mums attorney shot bolts of lightening from his jowls with fiery words that Fathers lawyer objected to with similar fervor as “Total Lies!”

Me Mums attorney objected to father’s attorney’s objection.
The Judge overruled Me Mums attorney’s objection and sustained father’s attorney’s objection and ruled the fiery statement of Me Mum’s attorney be stricken from court records and disregarded by all those present in the courtroom.

I had always perceived that court order as frivolous. The words were spoken. How can they be forgotten? Yet In all honesty I must confess I do not remember a word he said?

A heated custody battle ensued. As an only child, (only in terms of being in the courtroom. My brothers and sisters were off somewhere on holiday,) I was given the brunt of the abuse. That was the only time either of them spoke and I remember their spiteful words well…
“You take him!”
“No you take him!”
“I don’t want him!”
“Well, neither do I!”
The judge interjected and advised them we live in a community of unlimited age discrimination and whosoever received custody would be paid child support by the other party indefinitely.
That changed their bickering completely…
“Ok, I’ll take him.”
“No, I’ll take him.”
“He’s My son.”
“Mine too.”
Apparently the judge was also some sort of a doctor as he stated he was losing his patients, and therefore ruled that neither of them would have custody and weekly visitation would go on as it has for the last few decades.
You see when I said I remember the affair as though it happened only yesterday. It was actually more like a week ago.

The Judge also ruled for the entire case in neither of their favors sighting them both as being in their nineties and obviously senile, with extreme prejudice so filing again can not be tolerated.

After the judge ruled, my parents confessed that the entire matter was merely a misguided attempt to be picked up by Judge Judith and get on the tele.

The judge informed them that Judge Judy does not handle divorces.
My parents said they hoped she would make an exception in their case, and remarked that the presiding judge had done a fine job anyway, but cautioned that assessment may have been due to his assessment of their senility.

This time The Judge rose when they left the courtroom but for different reasons.

They walked out holding hands.

Penwose Out.
Bye George
NoPo8