I fear a Faux Pas?

Professor Ambrose Penwose, Kiwi

May Day!

Has anybody heard of any transportation faux pas in the last month or so? I ordered a director’s cut of the good Sweeney Todd CD, without the songs, and have yet to receive it? I fear it may have run amuck.

It comes from England, where it came from, so I’m hoping I won’t need to use subtitles, as they never convey the accent, and I am not a fast reader so I miss a lot. They say the best words of many sentences are at the end, which I hardly ever see. I tried viewing films a second time and just reading the last words, but by the time I realize which words I missed the first time, I’ve missed them again.

Anyway I’ve yet to receive it. Ebay sent a message asking how I liked it. I told them I’d be happy to tell them after I receive it. They said the estimated arrival time had long since passed so I should have it. I told them stragglers in the desert should have water but they don’t.

They suggested I contact the shipper, which I did, although it was Presidents Day and I’m not sure how England does it there?

So I ask again, have any of you heard of any mishaps? Train wrecks, boat sinkings, airline crashes? The last one is a plausible possibility. Has anyone heard of a plane crash between England and Las Vegas? I don’t know what kind of route they take, or how it travels once it reaches land? If it went by truck we’ll never sift through all of those wrecks, particularly since the blizzards. It may be freezing in the trailer of a semi truck stuck in a snowdrift for who knows how long. Oh, why does everything happen to me?

Maybe it fell out of a vehicle flying over, or going by your house? Please, please, stop what you are doing and go outside and check around. It may be right in your own backyard.

WAIT, WAIT…AFTER you are done reading this! I didn’t mean to stop right now!

I just heard a Ding! Maybe they found it?

It’s a message from Ebay…They sent me a refund…Nevermind!

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8