“There are no Stupid Questions.”

Professor Ambrose Penwose, Kiwi

Good Evening,

I’m sure sometime in your previous life, I mean previously in your present life, not a life before this one, although it may have been better, who knows?…I am sure you have heard the phrase,
“There are no Stupid Questions.”
We at the University say that all the time. We put up signs all over the campus, we plaster it on walls, paint it on billboards, smear it on buses, and shout it from rooftops. Do you ever wonder why we do that?

Do not be mislead. It has nothing to do with making students feel better. Believe me, that is the furthest thing from our minds.

We say there is no such thing as a stupid question because if we did not they would not ask their stupid questions. We give them free reign to ask stupid stuff. We’re just like anybody else, we need good laughs.

Just the other day Freddie Farkel asked the dumbest question I ever heard in my life. I’ve bitten my tongue before to keep from laughing at his questions, but I almost bit my tongue off on that one. I actually drew blood, which turned out to be a good thing because I was able to pretend to be leaving the class for first aid when all I was doing was calling an Emergency Faculty Coffee Break to tell them what Freddie asked. Some of them actually peed their pants.

Now I am not going to embarrass Freddie publicly so I won’t tell you what he asked. If I didn’t already give his name I would. We are not here to belittle our students. They do that superbly on their own.

Stupid questions are funnier than jokes. A joke is different from one person to the next, but a stupid question is stupid to everyone.

Do you have a question you feel is stupid? You can ask me. I was just kidding about laughing at them.

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8