Singing and slashing don't go together.

Professor Penwose, Kiwi

It’s in the mail
The continuing Saga DeSweeney.

I’m going to start at the beginning. I don’t know where I was or how I did it, but I was watching a movie about a barber, I mean how dull can that be? It was a fat barber alone in a one-chair shop without even a view of the street. If that is not boring enough, it took place in England.

As I sat watching it and wondering why I was, (now I remember, it was in a theatre, a movie theatre, I don’t go to plays although this one turned into a popular opera.) Yes, it was a movie theatre.

The barber was a typical barber I suppose. The shop was on the second floor. That is why there was no street view. A man came in for a shave, as was customary in those days. The barber nodded and motioned him toward the chair. He sat in the chair. The barber walked toward him, took up a razor, honed it a few times on a leather strap, and slit the man’s throat.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!

Blood squirted everywhere. I looked to see if there was any on me.
It was a gory mess. The barber calmly pulled a lever and the chair tipped backwards and the man fell through a hole in the floor. Later we learned a lady below with a meat pie shop used the bodies for consumption.

I was befuddled.
That’s enough background.

Sweeney Todd was the name of the barber. Eventually an acclaimed play came about and several movies, including one with Johnny Depp, one of my favorite actors. The movie was good, he did a fine job, but he sang all the time. I don’t like that! Singing and Slashing don’t go together. All of the other versions had singing as well. I searched for the one I saw. I found it on Ebay. You may have read a previous article on the subject?

I ordered the DVD. It came from England, which was the source of the story with good local flare. I was reasonably sure I could translate anything questionable. I have an English dictionary, and I speak English pretty blooming good.

The DVD never arrived.

I had received an estimated ETA, which was two weeks past. I notified Ebay and the shipper. I received a refund. Ebay is good that way.

I ordered another copy. I feared for it as well as an Amazon plane went down, but actually received it two days early.

The next day I received another one. Or was it the other one? I had no way of knowing? I told the students in my class about it and Lil Abner asked, “Which one looks older?”

I decided to just choose one to keep. So there I was with a CD I paid for, and one I paid for, then got reimbursed for after it was lost, then turned up after it was reimbursed for. I decided to give that one to my Ewife by Marriage to freak her out.

Well the first one didn’t play. Then the second one didn’t play. TV said it’s the wrong region. I have to go to England if I want to play them. Why would they send anything that cannot be played in the USA?

Again I contacted Ebay, and the shipper. Again I got a refund. So I have two CDs I can’t play, and two refunds. I’m still gonna send one to my Exwife. It’ll drive her crazy, (again) trying to play it.

Actually she fits into this crazy world better than I do.

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8