Deep Insertion Protocols

Colonel Ambrose Penwose, CSA, Kiwi,

From time to time we at The University endow those interested in a military career with our ROTC Program. The tactics we teach are meant to save lives rather than take them, yet invariably the reverse is just the opposite.

COVERT OPS
Today’s Curriculum…
Deep Insertion Protocols
Field Ops…If you are reading this in the field, it’s already too late.

Never go on a Covert Operation, where silence is a concern, (like sneaking up in the bushes on an enemy position,) with a comrade who had beans for dinner. They have a way of breaking silence in a manner most unfortunate.

On the other hand, If you have the local bistro deliver a pot of beans to your enemies at suppertime, you will know where they are throughout the night.

If there is a soldier among you flatulent, regardless of his bill of fare, he may be better suited guarding the horses. If you do not know the meaning of flatulent, we suggest the person in question may not be a problem.

This tactic is obviously quite old as we have very few horses nowadays. It was written slightly before the Civil War, at the military academy, by General Philip A. Buster, a military mind who spoke endlessly on various subjects while saying very little.
At the First Battle of Bull Run, he had so many men guarding the horses there were none left to guard his flanks and his regiment was ravished.

We find his philosophies provoking and suitable for tutelage even though he was not.

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8