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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

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Frog Killer
by By George xx xx   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
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Plunk your magic twanger, Froggy!

Professor Ambrose Penwose, Kiwi

Headline
THE WORST DISEASE EVER RECORDED

Earth…A doomsday fungus known as Bd has condemned more species to extinction than any other pathogen. Nothing comes close to the destructive power of Bd—a singularly apocalyptic fungus that’s unrivaled in its ability not only to kill animals, but to delete entire species from existence.

Bd—Batrachochytrium dendrobatidis in full—kills frogs and other amphibians by triggering fatal heart attacks.

I’m glad they specified what Bd means. When I first saw it I thought it meant Biological Dissection.
I hate to think something else is killing frogs faster than we do.

Studies show that streams once full of eggs are clear. Nights once resonant with ribbits are silent. Nothing about the habitats had changed, save for their sudden, inexplicable froglessness.

In a new study, Frog Followers compare the modern world to Pangaea—the single, epic supercontinent that existed at the dawn of the dinosaurs. It has long split up, but humans have effectively re-created it with modern ships and planes that allow frogs to ferry to other lands.

Bd is perhaps the perfect frog killer. If it is allowed to go unchecked there will soon be nothing left to dissect and a much-desired delicacy will no longer compliment upper class dining.

Plunk Your Magic Twanger Froggy!

As a noted professor of a university with biological functions, I feel it is my duty to do something. Therefore, without further ado, to the much ado we already do, I propose we go into the jungles of the world on a quest for frogs. We shall leave no lily pad unturned.
Since they are dying from heart attacks, I prescribe we install pacemakers to prolong their lives, which we can recycle when we see them later.

Save The Frogs!

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8


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