Is it any wonder I'm disturbed?

Professor Anbrose Penwose, Kiwi

If it were not for procrastination…everything would be done today.

Not all Spam is a scam…some Spam is ham.

I’ve seen it all, and I’ve seen nothing…I’ve done it all, and I’ve done nothing…I know it all, and I know nothing.

To Doctor Swigmon Fwad, You knock at my door and disturb me…then you say I’m disturbed? Who would not be disturbed if they were disturbed?

I bought a camera to see who was leaving bags of burning dog poop on my porch. It was my dog.

A person from Homeland, the CIA FBI, Duh, whatever, came to my house disguised as a huckster needing a drink of water and noticed my Swiss Army knife lying on a table. Now they think I’m a deserter from The Swiss Army.

A message popped up saying, “Quit Sticking Q-Tips In Your Ears.”

Now how the Hell do they know what I do with Q-Tips?
Are they spying on me? Is my house bugged? Are there hidden cameras? If there are I must find them.
I searched everywhere twice and found nothing, except my own hidden camera on the porch. I was ecstatic when I found it until I remembered who put it there. Are they watching me search? Can I ever live a normal life again?

Just a few days ago I asked someone what I should do with a Q-Tip. They said, “Stick it in your ear.”
So I did.
Now they’re telling me not to.

And quit asking me what’s in my wallet. NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, that’s what.

Is it any wonder I’m disturbed?

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8