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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

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Big difference between buying bagels and donuts.

Penwose Bagels

Don’t fear FOMO.
According to a recent Internet message, FOMO is the Fear Of Missing Out.
I figure if I got that message I don’t Miss Out on Much so I have NO FEAR!

I took some of that Grasshopper Pizza to my students at The University. The hillbillies said it tasted like Shitlins.
I said, “You mean Chitlins?”
They said, “NO…Shitlins!”

Today was bagel day and once again I found folly for dementia, although I really do not think I am demented? I just had other things on my mind.

I went to the order desk and said, “I’ll have a Bagel and Smores.”

“OH, Man! I don’t believe I actually said that? Last week I wrote an article saying I asked for a Bagel and Smores, but I didn’t really ask for a bagel and Smores, I just said I did, but today I actually did, although I really didn’t want to because I thought of Smores when I meant to say Shmear and it came out Smores by mistake.

At the pay desk the girl said $5.57 or something similar?, (I was still thinking of my faux pas,) I said, “And a senior discount!”
She smiled and said, “$5.23.”
“I got a message saying I would get a dollar off today?”
“You got a senior discount. It does not go with a senior discount. Do you still want the senior discount?”
(Do the math…dollar discount= a dollar…senior discount= a quarter.)
DUH…”No!”
“That will be $ 4.57.”

As I was sitting at a table eating my bagel, there was a cute girl waiting for her “bagel to go,” with her back to me. I thought she might be good girlfriend material but like all girls nowadays, too young for me. I decided to take a chance, but before I could she turned around and had a BIG bandage on her nose. It completely ruined her appearance! I quickly turned the other way.

My gaze fell upon the Order Desk where a gentleman had found something. He asked the lady before him who had moved to the end of the showcase, “Hey Lady are these your keys?”
She went back and took them from his hand.
Then she looked around and saw I was looking at her and gave me A DIRTY LOOK for seeing I saw her goof.

Hey Lady, It wasn’t my fault!

There is always something spine tingling about buying bagels.

Here is one fact I formulated. The big difference between buying bagels at Einstein’s rather than Dunkin Donuts is you will never get stuck in line behind fat people buying boxes of doughnuts.
Most people only buy one or two bagels.

Coffee is my cup of tea!

Penwose Out,
By George
Nopo8


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