Seriously

Look?

When was the last time you looked under your bed?…
Seriously. come on be honest…this morning? Yesterday? Last week? Leap year?…Never?
Surprisingly most people who use Dial Soap answer Never. I don’t know why, but they always seem to come clean?
Conversely most prison inmates, working on their doctorates answered they would hide under the bed if the owner came home or a colleague chose the same house and suddenly broke in as he had just done. All things being equal they seem the same.

High Pathetical situation…
Imagine if you will…You are home alone burgling your home when suddenly you walk in. Where do you hid so that you will not find you even though you are not looking for you?
Under The Bed is the perfect spot. Hopefully you are in the bedroom.
If not other arrangements will have to be made. I don’t know why you waited till now to think of such things but then again you never were very bright. If you had any brains you wouldn’t be robbing your own house now would you? In any event the first place you look to hide when you come home is under the bed. With that in mind, when was the last time you dusted?

Can we suppose your “burgomaster buddy” has a mind like yours? It is not a bad thing to say you have a brain like a thief, if he is an honest one.
So here you are coming home in a stupor, and there is a thief under your bed. How are you to know?
You look under it!
Theoretically, and that’s a fact, every time you return home and do not look under your bed there is someone under it. Statistics don’t lie!

To be honest, you don’t have to physically get down on your knees and see under the bed. It can be quite fun actually.
All you have to do is run into the room, jump on the bed, bounce up and down a few times, and yell, “I see you! Come out and be recognized!”

Let us go back to the High Pathetical situation…
Suppose you are hiding under the bed when you come in and jump on it yelling the phrase just mentioned. You would have to assume you were discovered and come out…wouldn’t you?
Of course if you did “come out and be recognized,” I should think you would be a little surprised at who you are.
Word to The Wise
This may be futile as you have already demonstrated that you are not, but we shall go forward regardless in the hope that someone who is, sees it.

In the matter of armament…I am sure you do not carry weapons so in both of the previous high pathetical situations both of you appear safe, however…

Burglars have been known to carry pistoles, and there is a tried and try method of dealing with them.

NEVER say, “Lay down your arms and come out with your hands up!”
That phrase may be good for Hollywood Cops, but keep it out of your script.
Think about it…How can they come out with their HANDS UP. If their arms are on the floor?

I hope this helps you. Check your bed!

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8