How much is that in Dog Light Years?

Headline

TELESCOPE DETECTS 100 MYSTERIOUS RADIO SIGNALS FROM THREE BILLION LIGHT YEARS AWAY

How much is that in Dog Light Years?

A Chinaman, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said its kind of like American TV cable, you get all those channels but few of them are any good. In Russia, cable only has one channel and its no good, but you have to buy it because they shoot down satellite.

The broadcasts were detected by a 1,640 foot telescope in China, by Chinese chinamen who have no idea what the signals are saying as they are scanning the universe for closed-captioning. We have suggested that maybe the broadcasts are in English, but they will not let us look.

A fast-food rice deliveryman, saw them looking through the telescope and realized they were looking through it the wrong way and were actually making things smaller. At his suggestion they flipped it around, which was not easy, and now the radio waves are only a half a billion light years away.

Scientists of American Space, noted that no audio feeds are recognized however several of their colleagues surmise we are viewing the wrong vectors and the race is on to find suitable child approved channels. Their reflection being anything is better than cable.

One of our top secret bugs, implanted in The Kremlin, revealed The Ruskies via their bug planted in Beijing, picked up several conversations revealing the Chinese talking about the radio waves, but apparently lost something in translation, as they think the Chinese are washing clothes in space. They casually asked us about it, and we mentioned their whites have been a lot brighter.

The scope of transmissions seems to range from various types of music, including oldies rock, to sports, quiz shows, and weather, which surprised most scientist who previously thought there was no weather in space.

I just shake my head?

Penwose Out
By George
NoPo8