I put deodorant on deodorant.

I put on deodorant twice this morning. I don’t know what happened? I must have lost me head?
I didn’t think I put it on, so I put it on, and realized I already did. You can’t put it back in the roller.
How can I be so stupid. I put deodorant on deodorant. It was a baffoonish thing to do. A real true life faux pas. Does anyone know how that will affect my day? I know it can’t be good.

I’ll probably smell like one of those little ol ladies who puts on too much perfume.
How will I be able to live with myself? What if someone knocks on my door?

OMG! This is Monday. It’s a school day…I have to go to class! Maybe I can get there before the bell rings and put all the chairs at the back of the room. They’re still going to want to come up and bow done before me.
What if there is someone else in the elevator? I’ll have to take the stairs. I never take the stairs. I don’t even know where the stairs go?

I just thought of something. One thing is for sure…I will have to buy deodorant one day sooner than normal, which is going to throw off my entire financial portfolio. I might be ruined?

What if I jump back in the shower and start over?
That would be two showers, and when I put on deodorant that would be the 3rd time, which would throw off my finances even more, and raise my water bill…and I’d have to buy deodorant two days sooner.
I’ll just have to go it the way I am.

Wait a minute! I will not put on deodorant after my second shower, which I’ll take very quickly like they do in the Navy.

I’ll call off sick, that will take care of The University, they never learn anything anyway.

Then, on some day in the future when I’m not going anywhere, I will not take a shower, and not put on deodorant. That will bring me back to normal. It will be hard to live with myself on these two days, but it’s better than taking out a reverse mortgage

Someday I’ll be able to tell my students and we can look back and laugh at all this, and they will once again see how smart I am.

That’s why I’m a Professor and they’re not!
Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8