Did you ever try to shake a cup of coffee?

Professor Ambrose Penwose, Kiwi
Bond James Bond

I’ve always fancied myself a bit of a James Bond.
Perhaps that would explain my propensity of preferring my beverages,
“Shaken not stirred.”
Did you ever try to shake a cup of coffee?

I asked several of my dearest friends what they thought of my comparison and if they agreed I am a Bond type?
They refused to answer, “For reasons too numerous to mention.”

I asked what they meant by that?
They answered that question with the same answer.

Then I said, “Thank You, Thank you very much.”

To which they answered…”You ain’t Elvis either!”

Then one of them asked…”If you were James Bond, who would they get to play you when they made a movie?”

And another said, “Blooming idiots are hard to find.”

With my luck they’d have my X Wife playing my love interest.
Do you know what she’s doing now?…
I just got a call from her doctor. She’s refusing to eat anything but cold turkey, because she wants to quit smoking.

I told him she doesn’t smoke.

“Then why is she doing the cold turkey thing?”

“What part of ‘She’s a nut!’ don’t you understand?”

I’m going to make a new movie…
The Good, the Bad, and My X wife.

Penwose Out.
By George
NoPo8