AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Roger Vizi, iBrendan O'Brien, iDavid Arthur Walters, iMartin Treon, iArmineh Ohanian, iDavid Clure, iLinda Alexander, iTerry Vinson, iJ. Allen Wilson, iBob Boze, i

  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Success story
· Books
· Articles
· News
· Blog
· Messages
· 622 Titles
· 377 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Before 2003

   newsletter

Subscribe to the By George xx xx Newsletter. Enter your name and email below and click "sign me up!"
Name:
Email:
By George xx xx, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen!

Books by
By George xx xx



See all Books
by By George xx xx


Huey and Luey
by By George xx xx   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
Recent articles by
By George xx xx

• Shot/No Shot
• Mutant
• Spark Plug
• That's Life!
• Power Outage
           >> View all

What else could I say?


HOLY MOLY DAN!
What else could I say?
I was floored!…No I wasn’t…almost!

This morning when I took my pills I lay them on the counter after taking them out of the bottles. One of them stood on end.
Correct that, they’re round, they have no end…it stood up on its side.

That is not when I said HOLY MOLY DAN!

Indisputably a rare occurrence but nothing to get all frazzled about. However I did wonder if it was a sign of Good Luck?
Are we such a pathetical society that “The Gods” tell us of impending good fortune by rolling pills? I don’t think so.
I passed on the good luck possibility but I did wonder of how I could use it to profit in my daily activities.
I wasn’t getting much there either.

My routine soon took me to breakfast prep. Today’s fare…EGGS! (SAA)
As previously stated I have been buying JUMBOs. To those of you who buy your eggs in a box…cartons are different. The eggs are almost alive, except they are not. There are 12 in a dozen, therefore a dozen carton has 12 eggs, arranged alphabetically.
(Alphabetizing is something I do on my own after naming them.)

There are two rows of six and six cross-rows of two. To those mathematically challenged, ask your mother.

Today’s carton had two rows of four and four cross-rows of two because two cross-rows of two were eaten previously. To keep the carton balanced I had taken two cross-rows of two from either end of the carton. I was looking at four nice balanced cross-rows sitting together in the carton. It was obvious they would soon be unbalanced, unless I took one from each end, which I never do because that would break up a set of cross-rows.

I chose the cross-row with the largest egg remaining. It was huge. One of those “Baby Huey” types, so much in fact I renamed it Huey, and its partner Luey, which in effect also changed its alphabetical status and should have been eaten the day after tomorrow…but who’s going to know? I’m sure not going to tell.

I cracked open Huey into the mixing bowl. There was a Double Yoke!
That’s not when I said HOLY MOLY DAN!

It was really no big deal since the last dozen had 3 doubles, and the first 4 of this dozen had none…so I’ve seen doubles before, they were getting sort of ho-hum.

I tossed the yokes in the disposal and picked up Luey. Smaller than Huey but still Jumbo size

I cracked it into the bowl.

That’s when I said HOLY MOLY DAN!

There was another double yoke! Two doubles from the same cross-row!

I don’t think that’s been done in the history of chickens?

I’m doing some heavy historical factations here and nobody knows about it.

Doesn’t matter, I destroyed the evidence.

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8


Want to review or comment on this article?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on December 2, 2019
Huey, Dewey, and Luey!

Reminds me of when Mom would bring Donald Duck comics by our cabin on the lake! Wanted to know what those rascals were up to and what their uncle Scrooge was doing with all that money.

Much egg a do about nothing. My mother had double eggs twice and at least three of them turned out okay if you don't include me. We are unbalanced, but that's okay.

Bye, George,

Ron

Popular Humor Articles
  1.  Penny Power
  2.  Pedicure and Chicken
  3.  Snow White Trailer Trash Talk
  4.  Beware the Tsundoku!
  5.  Poetry Submission
  6.  Kaltenheiss's famed Katya im Boxer qua
  7.  Shot/No Shot
  8.  How to Survive Bean Soup, The Game.
  9.  Losing Ticket
  10.  Dilatation of Closed Phrenix Confabula
  11.  The Great Turtle Stampede
  12.  Precedent Linkin's Gettysberg A Dress
  13.  Imminent Danger
  14.  Breaking Bad meets Star Trek and Pies
  15.  Getting Old In The Real World
  16.  The Left-Handed Heart
  17.  More GFI
  18.  Toughest Million
  19.  NEW KEYBOARD
  20.  FALLEN
  21.  Hollywood Coffee
  22.  My colonoscopy 3/20/14 – I have to tel
  23.  Spark Plug
  24.  Battle of the Bulge: Jesus Hates Speed
  25.  Segments from a Bifurcated Life

Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

What You Should Know About B.A.N.F.F. by RickthePoetWarrior

Light-headed prose about "living in a postcard” residents and their mountainous egos.  
Member BookAds

Shakespeare: Slammed, Smeared, Savaged and Slaughtered by Jay Dubya

Shakespeare: Slammed, Smeared, Savaged and Slaughtered (Part I) is adult literature featuring adult content and language.  
Member BookAds

A Reader's Guide to Author's Jargon and Other Ravings from the Blogosp by Edward Patterson

A Collection of Daily Quotes, a glossary of author terms, a Drag Queens Advice Column and other tidbits, all wrapped up in one enjoyable volume  
Member BookAds