She said gold would be coming my way

Near the beginning of the last decade, for those of you who may be calendargorically challenged, we’re talking about 2010-2020, I met a weird witty witchy woman from Wilmerding with a warped walnut Ouija board and penchant for prophesying. I thought she was prophetic, she thought I was pathetic.
She told me that gold would be coming my way during that decade.
I waited to no avail. Maybe if I’d have dug a little more?

Somewhere near the middle of the decade my high tech security cameras showed that a leprechaun, with a pot of gold, had knocked on my door but apparently I had overlooked him. Is it my fault they’re little?

Other than that there was noting to speak of up to the night before this New Years Eve. The decade was about over and I remained goldless.

Suddenly, as I was eating an unsoft pretzel, my tooth fell out, actually one of my teeth fell out…the one with a gold crown…
THE GOLD THAT HAD BEEN PROFESIZED!
It was a miracle! Gold had indeed come my way.
I was beside myself, which was strange even for me.

Strange as that may seem, the next day was New Years Eve. As I made my breakfast, with visions of sugar plums AND GOLD in my head, I cracked open the last egg of the decade to find double yokes.
That has to be some kind of a good sign if you’re superficious. I had to eat one and throw one away. How could I choose? My whole life may have depended on it…if I were superficious. I’m not, so I threw them both away and ate the yoke from the remaining egg. I know I said the previous was the last egg of the decade, but it seems I lied. I do that every now and then if you can believe that.
Actually there were two eggs left, but the two previous were the last eggs of the decade. The two left were the first eggs of the new decade, but the last of the carton.
Wouldn’t it be great if they had a double yoke?

New Years Day I awoke to visions of gold in my head. I looked at the egg carton with two eggs. The implications of a full decade ending with a double yoke and the next beginning with one was more than I could handle.
I ate cereal.
The next day, which was yesterday, I ate the eggs. No double yokes…Bummer!

Where can I find out how much a gold tooth is worth? I hope its not too much because I have three more and knowing me If they are valuable I’ll dig em all out and go around with spaces.

I tried an age old procedure. I put the tooth under my pillow for the Tooth Fairy. I awoke in a cold sweat during the middle of the night. I thought I was having some sort of a ghostly Scrooge thing, then realized, I would be ripped off by the Tooth Fairy, who had no idea what a gold tooth was worth. His going rate for a tooth was a quarter when I was a kid. Does anyone know the tooth fairy’s rate these days?
Gotta be more than a quarter.

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8